Wednesday, February 24, 2010

All Right

I may already be over the whole wallowing thing. Don't hold me to that, I reserve the right to go back to it at any time but I got into position today and just wasn't feeling it. My parents even took little kid so that I could wallow in peace, which was super nice.

The anticipation of thinking I may get laid off was actually worse than it happening. In fact, it happening is almost a relief in a sad way because I can stop worrying about it. It sucks and it is sad and I will probably miss that job forever but it's out of my hands now. The financial impact will hurt but people are worse off and I'll lose all kinds of weight as I starve.

At first the thought of being a STAY AT HOME MOM had me feeling queasy because what the heck was I going to do with myself? What would I think about? What will I do? I can't do nothing.

Tentative plans involve A LOT of reading (I will finish Owen Meany, dammit) and A LOT of time at the beach and A LOT of drinking when and if I can afford it or can get others to buy it for me. (I'm actually not a big drinker but I've been meaning to take it up for quite some time now.)

Long term plans involve more writing and maybe doing some volunteer stuff for an exciting local project I have connections with. I'm pretty sure you have to be tortured and/or an alcoholic to become a bestselling author, so maybe God is just pointing me in the right direction for more suffering and drinking.

12 comments:

Layne Street said...

You bounce back, Ashley! Sounds like a world of possibility to me.

MrsBlueberry said...

I am so sorry to hear you got laid off! I got laid off last January when I was 6 months pregnant. It sucked bigtime when it happened, but it turned out to be maybe the best thing that ever happened to me! I realize now how awful that job was and how lucky I am I don't have it anymore. Enjoy the downtime while you can. You deserve it!

Allie said...

You are even more talented than you may realize and I KNOW you are going to land on your feet with something amazing.

I know it.

Jennifer said...

I got laid off in Nov '08 and I had a job within three days. It was kind of a let down because I had all these plans for being off and doing stuff at Christmas, but then I had to start the new job right away.

I don't think I'll be so lucky this time. And yes, I know it is coming. My boss has told me he is selling the company.

Renee said...

If this post were on BBC, you'd have started a hell storm by saying you don't want to be a stay at home mom because you "can't do nothing" - LOL.

I'm glad you're already feeling better - I think your plans for how to use your spare time are excellent. :)

-The Renee

Ashley said...

I thought of that, The Renee! I think it's slightly different from me since I worked from home--so I was like a stay at home mom already, just with a lot of outside projects and now I'm without the outside projects and will be bored and lonely.

I know stay at home moms do all kinds of stuff, I just don't enjoy a lot of it. I originally had a whole thing about how I think playgroups and library story times are boring, but figured I was really getting into dangerous territory with that and decided to keep it short before I got my mom card revoked outright.

You know how I need a project (and how domestic shit bores me!)

We do need a chat date soon.

Thanks for the kind words everyone, it really does help. I know I'm not alone in being laid-off and I'm sorry that so many are going through it. We may have to hijack a cruise ship for the Ashley's Closet cruise and live the pirate life!

Former Fat Chick said...

OMG- I have an idea, I can SO tutor you on how to become a HARD CORE Drinker! In turn you can let me squish little kid and tickle him.

abbiejoy said...

So sorry to hear about the layoff. I was laid off in January (from one of two part-time jobs). Feels yucky.

I hope you find something that fits soon. Thinking good thoughts.

Jenna & Jordan's Mommy said...

so sorry you lost your job...sucks! My husband lost his job 6 weeks ago so we are right there with you. He has enjoyed the time he spends with our girls so that's a plus.. I work part-time from home, and I totally get your mindset on not really liking the stay at home duties that beckon...:-) Enjoy your time off...you'll find a replacement job when the time is right..love laughing with you and your kids!!

Looking For Freedom... said...

You aren't alone: I don't like SAHM duties much, either, but saying that aloud is dangerous. ;-) Library time makes me want to vomit, and I am a three-time mommy group dropout.

Multislacking Mama said...

Ashley, I'm sorry about the looming lay off. You are right- the worry is worse than the actual event. That doesn't make it feel better, does it?

I really like the idea of taking up more drinking. My boss says I don't drink enough alcohol because I tend to get sick a lot. He tells me if I drink more, there will be less blood in my alcohol system and I will be less likely to get sick. Makes total sense to me.

I will be arriving in Ft. Lauderdale in a few weeks. If you are up for it, I would like to practice drinking with you. If you are not up to it, I will understand.

BTW, in Oklahoma we waller. Dogs waller on the couch, people waller in their beds while sick, kids waller on top of their parents to drive them crazy.

Hang in.

Mom Taxi Julie said...

My job is a "temporary position" so every three months I getthe whole "am I going to get laid off" thing. Usually it's a no but sometimes it's really stressful! I got laid off for about a year and was finally totally getting in a groove and they called me back. I'm kind of mourning that time at home now!