Last night I got a job offer to be a writer in Australia. I was going to have to move there and I was going to make $72,000 a year. I was sitting at a conference table and some guy was making me this offer and instead of telling me how much I was going to make, he punched it into his calculator all dramatically and spun it around to show me. I was so excited to be moving to Australia and to be having a job!
And then I woke up. And I was pretty sad that I wouldn't be moving to Australia or having a job.
Don't get me wrong, I've become really good at not having a job. More pool time, more drinking, more movie watching--I'm doing an amazing job at all of those things.
But I'd give it all up to be a writer in Australia.
Here's a shoplifting bird to help us get over the disappointment.