It was joke day at Big Kid's school yesterday and he was reviewing his material over breakfast, trying to find the perfect joke to share.
"Do you got any jokes, mom?"
"Hmmmmm, not really. What's black and white and red all over?"
"I don't know, what?"
"A penguin in a blender!"
His face flickered from confusion to disgust before he began laughing uncontrollably. Once he calmed down he shook his head and stared at me. "You know that would not be appropriate, right? There will be kinnagardeners present. I hope you know better, mom. That's pretty sick and discustin'!"
"Yeah. You probably shouldn't take joke advice from me, but I see that you already know that."
"It was funny but not for little kids, ya know? You probly shouldn't be talkin' 'bout blendin' up penguins in front of people younger than first grade. Or maybe even not at all, really!"
Later that night, he had a school assembly. It was cute but I didn't see much of him--not because of obnoxious parents this time but because there was a much funnier child sitting closer to where I was. At each song's chorus, this little guy would scream the words at the top of his lungs. As the audience began giggling and the focus began shifting to him, he really amped it up by adding his own dance moves. He had just completed a 360 degree turn of full pelvic thrusts that would have made Elvis blush when the vice-principal hopped up on stage and whispered into his ear.
His little face fell and all of the parents groaned in disappointment; a nearby dad whispered,"There goes the entertainment!" He was determined to continue, but the vice-principal had predicted that and hid behind a Ficus tree on stage. The little boy would start grinning and getting antsy, clearly coming up with a plan, when he'd remember and turn around to see if she was still hiding behind the potted plant. She always was. He still got out a few yells and some hip wiggling, but she put an end to the majority of his theatrics. I know I wasn't the only one who was disappointed.
We're taking the kids to Busch Gardens this weekend! Florida people, you can get a free 2010 pass for children under 5. We are all looking forward to it but little kid is SUPER DUPER can't-talk-about-anything-else-making-it-impossible-to-get-stuff-done excited.
This post seems a little disjointed and unpolished, so I'm going to leave this picture of a baby hippo here to distract you from that: