Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Oh yay, Tuesday!

Don't you love it when people sneak into your bed in the middle of the night to pee in it?

I freaking love that. Nothing better than waking up in a cold puddle of pee to the soft snoring of an extra person in your bed hogging the covers at 3am. In my experience, it's even better if you've recently rented a steam cleaner and cleaned all of the mattresses. Also, there's the extra laundry to look forward to!

Then when that same person starts his day by asking for everything under the sun, confident that you'll cave on at least a few of these things as the day wears on, it's like, "Gosh, being a mom is so fun! Why yes, you can have candy and popsicles and go to the pool and play baseball and go to Target for Star Wars toys and wash the sliding glass doors all by yourself and then play Mario on the Wii, all before lunch time. Why, yes, you certainly can, little light of my life!"

It's 9:23 a.m, he's already had a piece of candy and he's playing the Wii as I type.

I never said I was good at this whole parenting thing.

(Well, I may have said that when I only had one child--I believed that then.)

8 comments:

Jennifer said...

And once again, I'm glad I work.

Joy said...

sounds like he is as good as mine at sneaking into the bed without getting caught, she now will just climb in and lay at our feet as not to wake anyone and get booted out of the bed.

Theresa said...

ha ha!

Anonymous said...

LOL!! I cant even tell you how GOOD it feels to know that someone (you), is having the SAME exact morning as I am!! Switch LK's candy for my kid's Cookie Crisp...lol, and swap out the requests for stuff like getting the sprinkler out, going to the library, and buying a wristband for the junky carnival that just rolled into town. Where, might I add, the carnies are "this close" to having sexual harassment suits filed against them...lol. Anyway.. we'll survive this day, Ashley, and wake up tomorrow to puke, instead of pee. Just wait. Ha. Oh, and just BUY that steam cleaner. It'll get its use. Enjoy!!! ~CoCo

Megness said...

I suppose waking up to an extra person who created the puddle of pee is better than the alternative...can you even IMAGINE how unsexy Mr. Ashley would be to you right now? Yuck!

Anonymous said...

Blood is hard to get out too. You know your own saliva will remove it if you haven't put anything else on it. I make my kids spit on things that they bleed on. The Amazing Miss G had a major nose bleed in her bed and I made her spit all over the matress. It worked. LOL. Kerry.

Jennifer said...

Haha! From a former childless parenting expert, turned complete idiot with two kids.

Anonymous said...

I too was a stellar mom before my daughter was born. I have #2 residing in my belly right now, I'm sure he will really teach me how shitty of a mom I am :)