Wednesday, September 19, 2007

An Ashley Vacation

I'm back! We had a great time! Well, as great as a time one can possibly have with 2 preschoolers, but all in all, they were great. They had an amazing time and this is something they will remember forever (and I'm guessing they'll forget the fighting issues and sharing wars long before we will).

To kick off the trip, I had one of the most mortifying experiences of my entire life, compliments of little Miss Emawee. We had stopped at a Wendy's on our way to Orlando and one of the employees had a really obvious lazy eye. Sure enough, Em starts yelling, "Ashley, look at her eye! Look at it! It's all weird!" As I stand there in panicked, stammering shock she continues. "Do you see it? Are you looking at it? Look at her eye, look at her eye." Of course 10 minutes later I thought of 900 better ways to handle it. But I think I just hissed "SHHHHHH!" and dragged her away. I recounted the tale to LK and she said, "Damn. I'm really glad I didn't have to deal with that." LMAO. Thanks.

Luckily we got to the hotel soon thereafter and I was able to put the whole incident behind me, but I still cringe when I think of that poor woman. Damn kids. Anyhoo, the hotel was amazing. We've stayed at Pop Century before and I'm pleased with it every time. It's all just so Disney. Everything is larger than life, everyone is so nice, all of the amenities are so fun. We had adjoining rooms and the kids spent all weekend racing from room to room, jumping on beds and snuggling down together at night.

It was so sweet to see them together. They'd go from duking it out and being forcibly seperated to Big Kid crying "I want my Emmers. Where did my Emmers go?" He saw this $70 gorgeous castle playset (that happened to be sitting next to a kick ass pirate playset) and he begged me to buy it for his Emmers. When I told him it wasn't happening, he asked if he could use his Disney dollars because his Emmers would really love a present like that. Bless his little heart! Still wasn't happening.

We were at Magic Kingdom from 9am to 10:30pm with no break and all of the kids did well. Don't get me wrong, they had their moments, but I'm pretty amazed they made it that long. Lunch at Cinderella's castle was a good long midday break and the food was delicious. The princesses were all great with the kids and took a lot of time with them. Cinderella talked to the Big Kid about how delicious his lunch would be and how she would rather just have ice cream but the Fairy Godmother makes her eat her veggies first. Big Kid ate all of his veggies and showed Fairy Godmother his muscles and she told him how she makes Cinderella eat her veggies so she'll be strong and smart. They gave the boys swords and the girls wands and all the kids got magical wishing stars. We also got a free 8 x 10 of our meeting with Cinderella. It was a wonderful experience and completely free with the free dining plan we had gotten.

The dining plan included more food than we could possibly eat. We ended up with two extra meal credits and so many snack credits that we ended up getting a ton of souvenir type snacks to bring home. Our whole day at Magic Kingdom cost us.....$2.50, the cost of one Coke from a Coke machine on our way out of the park and it never even gave us the damn Coke. Big Kid was pissed and yelled, "It stole our fweakin' money. I can't believe it stole our fweakin' money." Magical huh?

While we're talking about the Magic Kingdom, can I ask Disney to find a more magical way to get people out of the freaking park? Because the Stroller Stampede is not so magical. Neither are the ferry boat or monorail lines. Oh, and fat people in rented scooters? I don't consider you to be handicapped. Maybe you are, but I have very little pity for you. And yeah, I know, I don't know the whole story, blahblahblah, you could have a perfectly good reason for weighing 500lbs and being unable to stand on your own 2 feet for 10 minutes at a time, but you're not entitled to special treatment in my opinion.

When I got back to the hotel I was feeling pretty handicapped myself, but I was also convinced that I must go swimming. So at 1:00am, LK, her Big Kid and I talked the boys into watching the brats (who were STILL awake) and we snuck down to the deserted pool. That had "POOL CLOSED" signs surrounding it. We really struggled with this moral dilemma but then we figured there has to be asshole guests at Disney and it may as well be us. We started off quietly, whispering in the corner of the pool, heads barely above water, hatching plans to hide underwater if anyone tried to confront us. After 3 Disney employees walked by with obviously turned heads, we began floating on noodles and eventually even played some volleyball. Other people quickly followed suit, some fully dressed in their street clothes which was weird. We figured if security confronted us, we'd just blame it on those freaks.

The next morning we had the character breakfast at Chef Mickey's. It was so fun, we had more character interaction than we knew what to do with. I had the following conversation more than once:

Ashley: Big Kid, stand up and pose for a picture with (insert character name here).

Big Kid: No.

Ashley: Please, I just really want a picture of...

Big Kid: Mudder, no. I told you no. I just need to be eatin' my bweakfast and stuff.

Fine. Whatever. It was a kick ass breakfast, so I see his point.

Later that night we did Chip & Dale's campfire singalong (the chipmunks, not the dancers) and the next day we did Fantasia mini golf and Downtown Disney. A great time was had by all.

Here are some photos for your enjoyment. Let's remember, Rule 1: don't be a freak and do anything weird with my pics. Rule 2: Don't forget to subtract 10 lbs when you see any photos of me. The camera clearly adds at least that.

Edited to Add: The new version has no photos of me or Mr. Ashley. Mr. Ashley (aka Party Pooper) isn't thrilled about posting photos online and didn't want pictures of either of us, especially him, up. If it was up to him I'd take the kids' pics down too, but I've convinced him it's too late unless I take all of the photos off of my blog and I'm just not willing to do that. He doesn't read this (still!), so I could lie and say I did it, but I'll let him win this small battle as far as his own photo goes.

(I *may* have accidentally left a photo of myself on because I'm sloppy like that. I'm not saying I did, but if so, it wasn't on purpose)


Fluffy Windover said...

Great pics! Would it be weird for me to go on that vacation even though I have no children?

Anonymous said...

O.M.G. you were not kiddin'! That Big kid, little kid and Emmers are fweakin' adorable! You are a hot mama yourself!

awesome pics! your blog rocks hard!

clemsongirlandthecoach said...

hilarious. As long as you're NOT the weird-o playing the guitar in that one photo on the tabblo, i am still crushing on you...

Unknown said...

I am so glad you're back, and had a great time!
Love the pics!

Ms. Skywalker said...

Holy beautiful children, woman.

And the 10 pounds thing?


It's 17.2 lbs added.

Jules said...

Glad your trip was fun...ew just gt back 3 wks ago Don't you jus love the princess meals? Check your 8x10 packet...I think there should be 4 or 5 4x6's in there too. :)

Jules said...

Glad your trip was fun...ew just gt back 3 wks ago Don't you jus love the princess meals? Check your 8x10 packet...I think there should be 4 or 5 4x6's in there too. :)

Olivia: (mostly) Happy Homemaker said...

I didn't know you also played the guitar!!??

Only kidding. I LOVE the photos! You are a pro!! Those kids could model. So cute!!

Thanks for sharing!!

Anonymous said...

OMG I am sooo jealous I want to go so bad. The pics are very cute sorry I missed to unedited version.


Anonymous said...

WONDERFUL pictures!! I was so waiting for your post about your vacation. Glad to hear what an awesome time you had. We are heading to Disneyland in October and I can't wait!!

Anonymous said...

Big Kid and Little Kid are the 2nd cutest kids in the kids being first of course. ;^)

Love the pics you hot "weiner gobbling" momma!

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the blog!!! Keep it up.

Anonymous said...

SO glad you are home. I got tired of checking out your blog and seeing no new entries lol

Stacy said...

Love the pictures. And I'm just lmao at Emmers embarassing you. My 3 yr old noticed a "short person" in a pizza shop and immediately started asking me in her none to quiet voice "Mommy....LOOKLOOK that lady is really small. Why is that lady so small? She looks funny". All the while I was stumbling to deal with the situation and just told her to be quiet and eat!