Monday, September 3, 2007

I Know How Cavewomen Did It

So yesterday we went out on the boat! We hadn't been out since our last soggy trip with The Renee, so we were long overdue.

I was kind of dreading it, because it's actually a lot of work to pack everything up, wrestle everyone into life jackets, hold their hot sweaty little bodies while keeping the Big Kid's head under a towel so the wind doesn't get in his ears (weirdo), chase the little kid around the island and digging shells out of his mouth, etc, etc, etc.

But I had a bottle of wine, it was a beautiful day and it is a holiday, so we just decided to make ourselves do it.

I'm so glad we did! My mom came with and helped with the kids on the boat and then when we got to the island, Mr. Ashley accidentally stumbled upon Mother Nature's greatest contribution to beachside parenting ever. Nature's playpen, aka the hole.

Step 1: Dig hole (make kids help). Step 2: Put kids in hole. Step 3: add toys. Step 4: Drag canopy over them. Step 5: Lounge around drinking wine and reading book while paying minimal attention to the kids.

It really worked out fabulously, I can't believe we didn't think of this before. I had a great day and even managed to read a lot of my book, I have never managed reading out on the boat with children around.

When I got home I took a bath and finished my book, Water for Elephants was amazing! I loved it, I read it in a couple of days and enjoyed every word. I think this one is going on the "Required reading list to be Ashley's friend." (I know I still have to get that to you guys, I promised months ago). I told you all way back when how I choose my reading material in themes? Like I did King Henry VIII and all things related (that one took almost a whole year), Cleopatra, Mary Magdalene, Jesus, Helen of Troy, the De Medicis, Marie Antoinette which led to the French court, bees. I haven't done this sort of thing in a while but I liked the whole old-time circus thing so much I'm thinking of trying to do it with this theme. That could be hard though, but a fun challenge to find things. I know I'm a dork, I just love to read and I love to learn about things and this is how I like to do it. Get off my case.

The book I read before this one, Eleven Minutes also makes the required reading list. I've been fortunate with books lately. I have a stack to read (and yet here I am searching for new themes so I can buy books that fit that obscure theme instead of reading what I've got like a normal person) and a few that I've started and then put back down. Like Memory Keeper's Daughter, maybe I didn't get far enough into it, but I just don't get what all the hype was about. I just wasn't feeling it.

So I'm off to Kmart today. I am freaking terrified and already feeling germy. Our Kmart is downright scary, but I saw that Kmart was having some huDge clearance sort of situation and they have a ton of the cleaning products and stuff that I need (or would need if I cleaned) for super duper cheap, so hopefully it will be worth my while. Wish me luck. I'll try not to get my ass beat in the parking lot. That sort of thing happens at Kmart, you know.


Anonymous said...

Oh-I saw that book, and I was intrigued. I am about to start "The Time Travelers Wife" I can't wait. Excellent idea on the hole. I hope you are still looking for the apprenticeship/indentured servant gig for that mouthy big kid.

Anonymous said...

I've heard before that it is extremely dangerous to dig a hole in the sand and get in it. I can't explain it exactly but it has to do with pockets underneath the sand and the walls collapsing and the pressure of all the sand crushing the person inside. I remember reading an article about a college kid that was crushed to death when a hole in the sand he was in collapsed around him and all the college kids he was with desperately tried to dig him out in time and watched their friend die with just his head out of the sand.

So I am thinking you shouldn't put your precious little ones in there anymore.

Sorry, I know you thought you found a wonderful new way to entertain them.

Olivia: (mostly) Happy Homemaker said...

I agree about Memory Keeper's Daughter so I look forward to adding the others you mentioned to my ongoing list! Good luck in Kmart!

Sasha said...

Damn, I haven't read a real book in 4 years. My reading material now consists of parenting books on how to get my kiddos to mind, pee in the potty, and sleep more than 3 hours at a time. However, maybe one day 10 years down the road I will have enough time to read for pleasure (ha!) so I will add your books to my list for the future.

Unknown said...

I think I saw that same thing about the kid crushed by sand during spring break. If I remember right though, the hole was like 5 or 6 feet deep. This hole was like 1-1.5 feet deep and he was standing up the whole time (so the sand wouldn't have gotten on his head) and my mom was within arm's reach.

I see what you're saying, but I played in holes my whole childhood. I'm sure many of us did. Freak accidents occur all the time with all kinds of stuff.

Jennifer said...

Memory Keeper's Daughter had to be the most boring, anticlimactic book ever written. Reading that is like going on a diet of no-salt Saltine crackers and water from a mud puddle for a month. Blah, blah, blah.

Unknown said...

What's a little risk, if overall you don't have to pay as close attention to them, while sipping wine and reading, really?

Seriously, that sounds scary but I am sure there was more to it than a 1 foot hole.. I am sure someone was watching them at all times (someone other than you, of course).
And when I am bored of reading school material, I will be sure to pick up a book from RRTBAF (Required reading to be Ashley's friend) I promise.


Anonymous said...

ok i think the chances of getting killed in a sand hole are slim to none
lighten up lady

jennifer said...

Yeah, I grew up on the beach... we superficially buried each other in the sand all the time and, as Ashley said, unless it's some monstrocity hole, it's not going to cave in and kill anyone.

Deb said...

I would take the chance on the hole for a day of reading and booze on the beach.

I couldn't agree more on Memory Keeper's Daughter. Saltine diet INDEED!

Rebecca said...

See, I liked Memory Keeper's Daughter. Well, I did like it, until someone in my family misplaced it while I was out of the house and now I can't finish it.

Every KMart is nasty like that. I made Hubby come with me to our nasty one last time I felt compelled to go there. He didn't believe me when I told him how nasty it was...until he found an open box of condoms in the toys section. Looked like most of the condoms were still there....apparently they just wanted to steal the vibrating ring.

Kate said...

After the fun times at chez crazy (ie: my house) I'd gladly bury my satan spawn in a hole....

Oh wait, you didn't say bury, you said put...MY BAD!

On a side note, your little ones are gorgeous.

the rural rube said...

John Irving writes loosely around the old-time circus theme in many of his books. He always has the dancing
I liked Memory Keeper's Daughter, but will order your elephant book anyway, because your "other bolelyn girl" was truly spectacular. Try the Glass Castle, would you???

Anonymous said...

Was the sand wet or dry? LMAO! I'm glad you had a fun day on the boat!

~Gretchen~ said...

screw the beach--dowlan is going to be digging a hole in our yard the moment he gets home today. Solid layer of limestone, Schmolid schlayr of schlimestone--he is NOT going to wimp out on me.

Fluffy Windover said...

Kids in a hole! LOVE IT.

Monogram Momma said...

We are big fans of The Hole, ourselves. It's an added bonus when the beach is totally flat and you can dig a little tunnel out so water will come in and out of said Hole w/ the tide. It's a wonderful thing.

Another tip? The mini's love to bring their Monster Trucks to the beach. We dig a big hole, surround it w/ upside down buckets of sand so it looks like a castle, and then build sand ramps in and out and around the Hole/castle. This literally amuses them quietly for hours on end so I can continue my book.

Speaking of books, Memory Keepers Daughter sucked. You didn't miss anything.