Friday, September 28, 2007

Why Would You Sell Yourself for a Double Cheeseburger?

Well, in honor of my birthday, my computer decided to undo whatever miracle recovery had occured and it bit the dust. I'm going to leave it off for a few days (Waaaaaaah!) and hope it miraculously recovers again, but this is unlikely.

This doesn't mean you won't hear from me, it just means I'll have to sneak onto Mr. Ashley's computer and fight with him about what is more important...his work or you all. The correct answer is you all. Sometimes he doesn't think so though, so you may hear less from me (but maybe not, you never know, I am persistent.)

My birthday was lovely. There was a lot of napping and wine and not much taking care of the kids. Mr. Ashley and the boys got me one hour of studio rental and one hour of personal instruction with a photographer I really admire. I've taken classes before but I'm all about personal instruction, aka all eyes on me aka I get to talk as much as I want. Cool, huh? He's been listening!!

Big Kid drew me a picture of a cake with MOM written on it and Happy Birthday written underneath it. It was so freaking cute. I am so proud of that kid. Can I brag for a moment and tell you all he's doing 2nd grade math and making graphs of the ages of everyone in our family for fun? He is something else. Unfortunately my math skills only go up to around 2nd grade, so let's hope he doesn't learn too much more.

For dinner we went to Uno Pizza with my parents and brother. My mom got me a monogrammed shower curtain and towels (I LOVE THEM!) and some Bento stuff. Included in the Bento stuff is piles of weiner cutters. Whose life could be complete without penguin shaped weiners? I love them. Also, my guest bathroom is sorely in need of a makeover and this is a huDge start on that, so yay mom!

Today I'm using a spa gift certificate I got for mother's day to treat myself to a Vitamin C facial and a mani/pedi and then we're using a gift certificate that The Renee got me (VERY generous of her) to one of our favorite restaurants!! I'm really super excited about today. I can probably even talk Mr. Ashley into letting me nap some more. Man do I love a good nap.

Some random observations from yesterday:

Maury Povich: How does this man sleep at night? How does Connie Chung sleep with him? It's just embarrassing. An actual clip from an upcoming show about promiscuous 14 year olds (isn't every show about paternity, slutty kids, fat kids or transvestites?):

Maury: You sold your body for a double cheeseburger? Why would you sell yourself for a double cheeseburger?

Slutty teen: BECAUSE CHEESEBURGERS IZ GOOD!! (punctuated by a chicken head sort of dance move)

Mr. Ashley and I have probably recreated this scene 50 times since seeing it and break down into gut busting giggles every time one of us does it. I guess I should thank Maury for adding this gem to our family lexicon, but I'm too busy being embarrassed for him.

Corey Feldman: Was he in every single movie in the 80s? I was watching Gremlins yesterday and couldn't believe he was in it. I've often said that Dakota Fanning seems to be the only child star in America, I guess Corey was it for the 80s. They had Drew Barrymore too though. I guess we had Haley Joel Osment for a little while, 'til he turned into a drunk driving, pot smoking mini adult. Don't they all?

For the record, Gremlins is really not appropriate for a 4 year old. I had forgotten that until he was hooked but I had a lot of explaining to do. They are violent little fuckers and I totally forgot about the mom putting them in the blender and the microwave.

Big Kid: How tum she is cooking dem?
Ashley: Um, they're just playing.
Big Kid: Dat seems wrong. He should not have that chain around her neck, dat is not good playing.
Ashley: No, no it isn't, is it? How about we watch Oprah?
Big Kid: How about not?

Speaking of Oprah yesterday, I try not to get political here, but GO MICHAEL MOORE! I LOVED seeing that insurance commisioner squirm. You are WRONG beyotch, and you know it! The health care situation here in America is just horrendous. Robert Gates wants $190 BILLION for 9 more months of this neverending, pointless war? That would insure our whole country. As someone who is having to decide between continuing her health insurance coverage (we're small business owners, no group policy) or continuing to send her kid to pre-k (we don't qualify for voluntary pre-k, however we also can't afford what we're doing now but it is our only option), I am just appalled by how my tax dollars are being spent.

Here is a short, easy to understand video by the Ben and Jerry guy that adequately explains where our money is going. If I'm going to be riled up about it today, you should too:

DO NOT even get me started on Dubya, that deserves it's very own blog but then I'd probably be tracked down and audited or arrested or otherwise punished for speaking out against President Pumpkinhead. So much for not getting political huh? This has turned into quite the potpourri post. From birthday gifts to Maury Povich to child stars to health care to federal spending to Bush bashing.

I'm going to end it here and hope that Maury has the Hamburgler Prosti-tot on today. I hope you all have a kick ass Friday! I will think of you as I'm being pampered!


Sasha said...

You started talking politics and all could I see was "blah blah blah." I just can't wrap my head around a few things, even though I got a 30 on my ACT: geography, time zones, how the hamburger buns I was serving for dinner last night got moldy in just 3 days, where my Lorna Doones went if no one in the Sasha house ate them, and politics. Glad you had a great birthday though! (I am a little worried because The Politician is also an Aug 03 kid, and I haven't been working on the math at all and I don't think the Catholics are teaching it either......)

Unknown said...

I wouldn't be concerned Sasha. The Jews aren't teaching it yet either. The Big Kid has a 2nd Grade Reader Rabbit math computer game that he has mastered and now he's big into adding things.

Most kids like Playdoh, Big Kid likes making graphs and doing math for fun. Weirdo.

Kate said...

LOVE LOVE LOVE that you called Bush a pumpkin head...I have a comment similar to that on my blog related to a picture that I have with a pumpkin over his also has to do with my lesbian love for Jill Hennessey...strange combo. By the way, I finally showed my Hubby my blog last night and I had to explain how you got me addicted errr into blogging and he was reading yours and laughing. So even if Mr. Ashley doesn't appreciate it, Mr Kate does!

Unknown said...

Don't even get me started..
As someone who feels the crunch and lack of funds every freakin' semester.

That little video was good stuff though..

Deb said...

Can you teach Big Kid to do online banking? I would pay to have him spend summers here if he took over the Quicken duties.