Friday, September 7, 2007

Chaaaaarge!

Well Fluffy Windover, Girl after my own heart, is sick of the Photowow bullshit and wants to do more shopping. She didn't come right out and say it (well, almost) but I get her point.

Shopping is what brought us all together in the first place. The Chaws were playing "Chaw Not to Wear" and I ended up being everyone's stylist and I thought it would be a fun idea for a blog. Then I got sick of it and started bitching about my kids, and here we are.

So here are a few outfits I would buy if I wasn't:

A). Broke B.) Always wearing pajamas C.) Willingly housebound.

Old Navy Shirt$14.50, Old Navy tank top $8.50, Old Navy Trouser Jeans $34.50, Sugar Shoes $40.95, Octo Necklace $20.00, Target purse $30.00

This first outfit is something I would actually wear, especially if it ever cools down here enough to wear some long sleeves and jeans again. I am missing my jeans damnit! Summer was fun, I'm over it now. Those jeans look like they would hide the muffin top too, I like that. I love, love, love the shoes, they are practical and look comfortable and playground mulch would have a pretty tough time getting in there. I love the necklace (I heart Etsy, I really do) and I think the purse looks like it costs more than $30.00 and it reminds me of my couch, and that's a good thing because I am pretty fond of the couch.

I can't add, or do any other kind of math really, but judging by the stores, this outfit would probably be within my financial reach. Mr. Ashley would probably say it is not, but what does he know? God, like making all the money, paying the bills and actually being aware of our finances makes him some sort of expert or something. Not. Besides, why did God invent credit cards if not for me to use them? Huh? Yeah, that's what I thought.




Gap Dress $80.00, Banana Republic earrings $30.00, Piperlime Shoes $70.00, Banana Republic Bangles $42.00, Banana Republic satchel $140

I would feel pretty in this dress and it would look good with my hair. This is more of a fantasy outfit, not so much because of the price (that too), but more because where the hell would I wear it? The one time a year Mr. Ashley and I have date night? AKA my birthday? I wish.

I wasn't originally going to go with those shoes, but I think those shoes would go great with my bridesmaid dress for Katy's (aka Catfish's) wedding and this was the easiest place to put it so I wouldn't forget about them. Katy is a shoe designer (coolest job E.V.E.R., remind me to tell you about the glamorous life of my cool, kid-free friend Katy), so I can't be the jerk that wears ugly shoes to her wedding. These aren't ugly, right? Anyhoo, I think they're fine with this dress too. It's my closet, I'll put whatever I damn well please in here.

J. Crew Camisole $88.00, Red Chinos $60.00, Awesome purse $395.00 (choke), Kick ass shoes $180.00, Gold cuff $32.00

Instead of this outfit I should have shown you Cinderella's gown and her glass fucking slippers, because this is about as likely to happen as that. A girl can dream. Where the hell is my fairy godmother anyway? Honestly, I'm not sure that I'm tall enough for red pants, but I do think that shirt would hide the muffin top. Do you like how hiding the muffin top is the #1 consideration? Because those of you without muffin tops...should have no problem picking out your own damn clothes.

I looooooooooooooooooooove that purse and those shoes. What is it with me and J. Crew shoes? Why do I even look? A $395 purse? That's a car payment. Damn, I know I can't keep up with The Aroras...why do I even try?
(editor's note: there is a national movement underfoot, started by me, to change "Keeping up with the Joneses" to "Keeping up with the Aroras"...please make a note of it and help me out with that. Do the Joneses have two front loading washers and dryers? A closet of designer shoes? The Joneses suck, screw them).

So there is your shopping for today. Do you know how long it took to put this post together? Waaaaaaaay longer than it takes me to do some bitching & whining and hit "publish post", that's for sure. I was really big on this shopping stuff when I still felt the need to buy your love. Now I've gotten comfortable and lazy with you all. Now you know how Mr. Ashley must feel. Awww, sucks to be you guys.

13 comments:

The Cowan's said...

I'm becoming obsessed w/ your blog (Aug 06 lurker) and this post even had my husband cracking up. Hilarious.

Happy Homemaker said...

I was going to ask how long that took!! Wow! Great picks!!

Debbie said...

I'm sure you know why I LOVE this particular post.

Note: that really cute Gap dress could easily be worn over leggings and turned into a very casual lunching-with-the-girls outfit. (If a dress over leggings doesn't hide a muffin top, nuthin' will!) Natch, you would pair it with some really cool flats in that case.

Anonymous said...

LOVE the shoes, I also would love alot of these if I ever went anywhere besides dropping #1 at school picking him up again and then to baseball or soccer. Wow my life is so fun

Joy

Cinnamon said...

Love the Old Navy outfit, very reasonable in price. I about choked on my morning Coca-Cola from checking out the other two. Thanks for that, really, I needed it. :)

Monogram Momma said...

You know, the only thing that brown Target bag at the top is missing is a big fat MONOGRAM.

Fluffy Windover said...

Yay, yay!!! I am totally buying that entire Old Navy outfit. Thank you, thank you! Don't worry; when I wear that outfit I shall hang a sign around my neck that says "Styled by Ashley"...

Melissa said...

I heart Old Navy and Target... they are the only reason I can stay in style while Mr. Melissa has his claws on my CC...

Renee said...

Oh, I am loving these outfits. I think my Positive Thinking is paying off, and I'm losing weight like crazy, so to reward myself in a few months, I'm buying one of these. Or all of these. What is the maximum allowable weight for wearing red pants? Probably the same as white pants, but I was rockin' the white capris this summer, wasn't I?

Deb, tell us the truth. The front-loading washers get mildewy and stinky, don't they? I've read all about it. You have to leave the door open, don't you? And the water doesn't really drain out of the bottom that well, does it? Tell us the truth, Deb, so we can stop coveting them. (We had a front-loading washer at our vacation place in August.)

-The Renee

PS Deb, I might be up in your neck of the woods next summer. May we do lunch? I have always wanted to be a lady who lunched.

QueenMother said...

I love that stuff-all of it. I need you to be my personal shopper! I could possilby even pay you in shoes!

Fluffy Windover said...

I hate to do side talk here, but Renee-- YES the front-loading washers get mildewy and stinky! And I'm glad you said that, because I thought it was just mine, and I was seriously about to call a repair man. Sometimes I swear my stuff comes out of the dryer still smelling like mildew (the BHE says I am crazy). But if i could do it all over, I would buy one of those top-loading ones without the middle thing... Who am I kidding, I never do laundry anyway.

Catfish said...

OMG the gold piperlime shoes are great! Check out where else sells them though, piperlime can be a little bit more expensive. I LOVE the fat gold cuff!! Good work ;)

PS-I have a front loader...haven't had the mold problem yet, but I do leave the door cracked when the cycles are done so it doesn't mildew.

Miles' parents said...

I have those Sugar shoes! They are sooooo cute, but day-umm, they are surprisingly uncomforable. No arch support at all. So I got an insert, and they're a little better, but ouch.