Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Will and Testament

I'm pretty sure that I have Bronchitis or Pneumonia, whichever is more fatal, and that I'm going to drown on my own mucus if I ever manage to fall asleep tonight.

This is official notice that in the event of my death, The Closet and it's inhabitants shall inherit all of my internet "bookmarks". Mr. Ashley will bestow them upon you daily and this post serves as official notice of that (Mr. Ashley, you have to check Google, Internet Explorer and Firefox bookmarks on both laptops. There is no organized system, surprise surprise.) It is a fascinating treasure trove of information, and probably the most interesting thing I have to bequeath upon anyone.

All I ask is that someone with good grammar skills puts together my obituary, I will terrorize you all from beyond the grave if there are any typos or if I think it sounds dumb. If I felt better, I'd just write it now myself, but I'm dying and it's the least you all could do.

I'm going to go euthanize myself with Nyquil now. Parting is such sweet sorrow and all that jazz.

11 comments:

Missives From Suburbia said...

I think your epitaph should read, "See! I told you I was sick."

Rest well.

Mrs. S said...

Oh My. Do you really think you can escape that easily?? Oh No my friend. You WILL be back :)

Puhhhh leaze!

Melodie said...

Can I have your boys?

Renee said...

Lol. I'm sorry I'm laughing, I know this is a serious matter. But this was pretty funny. :) You will feel better. You will not die. You will live to see another day. And another. And another. And so on and so forth.

Btw, happy new year! I hope to see you guys in 2009 - we're talking about making a trip down there this summer, but I know that you know not to get your hopes up just yet. We like to talk about all sorts of things and only 3% of them come to fruition.

-The Renee

Text Imps said...

First off - I'm not a non-commenter so please don't hate me. LOL I'm just one of the unlucky souls who is just now finding your blog.

Tell Mr. Ashley to do percussion for you. Basically he just needs to cup his hands and beat on your back and sides, in your lung area, like you're a set of bongo drums. This will dislodge the nastiness and hopefully make you start coughing it up. Then you get to be very ladylike and start spitting out big ol' globs of "Holy hell was that my shoe?" and it should help you breathe better. =D

Anonymous said...

Get yourself some mucinex. Drink lots of water with it or you'll get fuzzy medicine head. Two days and you'll feel right as rain.

Judy said...

Aw, I am sorry you are sick! Is there a health food store you can send Mr. Ashley to nearby? Have him get you Oil of Oregano. Read this:
http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Oil_of_Oregano_An_Influential_Force.html

Feel better soon!

Mom_2_Boo_and_Roo said...

This stuff has been making the rounds in our house for about 3 weeks now. As soon as one of us gets healthy someone else gets sick. I hope you feel better soon.

Kimberly said...

If you die, can I have those shoes you wore to Texas? and that dress you wore to the New York wedding?

That's all. Thanks.

:)

Kristen Howard Photography said...

Go to the liquor store and ask for some ROCK and RYE heat it and put some lemon and honey juice in it sip it...a lot of it and then you'll feel much better.

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