Shofar Shogood

Who knew The Jews were taking another half day today? Not me. Not 'til Ms. Sharon called to ask when I would be picking up the Big Kid. Oops.

Luckily, Mr. Ashley was right down the road and was able to get there before it became hugely embarrassing. I told her I had no idea it was a half day while I was apologizing and she pointed out that signs are all over the school. I hope she realizes Mr. Ashley is the one who has been picking him up and dropping him off lately (not my fault).

She was nice about it though. She's always threatening to take the Big Kid home with her and he's always sitting on her lap or they're holding hands, so I'm guessing she didn't mind 15 more minutes in his adorable presence.

He came home with a "shofar". I have no freakin clue if that's spelled right or supposed to be capitalized or what, but I'm just going to go with it. Apparently it is a horn that they blow to bring in the New Year. The more I learn about the whole Jewish thing, the more I really like it. I would convert but Mr. Ashley thinks it would be weird to be Irish Jews and that this is just another passing fancy of mine. I really like all of the history and traditions and holidays and stuff and they are all just so nice.

Anyway, the Big Kid's shofar (I looked it up and I was right) was a squiggly construction paper thing covered in glitter with like a duck call sort of thing stapled to it. It was cute and all but there was glitter EVERYWHERE. He loved the "sprinkles" though, so I guess glitter is just a fact of life, but that stuff is a pain in the ass.

He blew his shofar all the way home and all the way through the corner store. He had the following conversation with the clerk:

Corner Store Lady: That's a nice horn you have there. Let me hear you blow it.
Big Kid: QUAAAACK. QUAAAAAAAAAAACK. It's a Shofar.
Corner Store Lady: Hmmm. What's that all over it?
Big Kid: It's just spwinkles.
Corner Store Lady: Sprinkles? Wow. You sure are handsome. I bet you're married or you have a girlfriend:
Big Kid: (Looks at shoes.)
Corner Store Lady: You got a girlfriend?
Big Kid: Yeah
Corner Store Lady: I knew it! What's her name?
Big Kid: Emmers.
Corner Store Lady: Emmers?
Big Kid: She's just my Emmers. QUAAAAACK.

How cute is that? Other than the obnoxious barking quack sound. He was wearing a shirt that said "Ladies Man" which makes the whole thing even funnier, in my opinion. Yeah, he wore that to Temple school today. Is that inappropriate? I wasn't sure. I don't really see what the Jews would have against a ladies' man.

Anyhow, I hope they don't think I'm a bad mom because I can't keep up with their crazy schedule. I'm sure there's a calendar somewhere in those piles of papers they send home every day, but how on earth am I supposed to keep track of all of that? I hope the fact that I make kick ass Bento lunches and have the world's smartest and cutest 4 year old excuses the fact that I may occasionally forget to pick him up on time or that sometimes I dress him like a mini pimp.