Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Another 4 Bite the Dust

Would you believe that I took the kids out today, bought them 5 fish, and then managed to kill 4 of them before getting them safely into their tank?

I bought the special water drops, scrubbed out the old tank with scalding water, removed the old rocks and rinsed the new ones until the water ran clear, added water, put a special and expensive magic tablet into the water, put the fish bag in there for a few hours to neutralize the temperature, began slowly adding aquarium water to the bag in small increments to acclimate them--and 4 out of 5 of those little fuckers are floating.

The kids don't know, and won't know. I put a towel over the tank and said it was part of the process of making them comfortable in their new home and Mr. Ashley just ran out to the pet store to purchase stand-ins.

This could get expensive.

Edited to add: make that 5 out of 5. We will need to sneak a new sucker fish stand-in in tomorrow. The store has admitted that it was probably their fault and said we could get a refund if I bring in the dead bodies and a receipt.

So now I have a Ziploc full of dead pets in the freezer and need to find a way to sneak them back to the store for a refund.

23 comments:

Jennifer said...

Fish killer.

(Laughing at you in a totally glad it is not me kind of way.)

peggy and The Cats said...

Hi Ashley,
What kind of fish did you buy? I might be able to answer any questions you have. I have had freshwater tanks for years and years and learned a lot the hard way.
peggy
mar123 at gmail dot com

I'm Just Sayin' - Kerri said...

That is a very sad story indeed.

Anonymous said...

I did that one time by accidentally scrubbing the tank with a new kitchen sponge. Those sponges evidentially have an antibacterial component of which I was unaware. The fish were dying in front of my kindergarten class. It was a nightmare!

miss. chief said...

fish are assholes. they probably did it on purpose

Anonymous said...

fish can be pretty rude sometimes.

AnastasiaBeaverhousen said...

Save yourself some time and gas and set up an alternate fishbowl somewhere the kids can't find it (although if they are like mine, NOTHING is out of bounds for them). Put some spares in there and as you lose some fish, add more from the extra bowl. Soon enough all will be adjusted and you can ditch the second tank.

If you would have just gotten the hedgehog, this wouldn't be an issue ;)

Paige said...

Secret spare fish gets my vote.

Fish can be such sneaky bastards. And really, the store wants the dead bodies? Do they really think you might scam them out of friggin fish?

Rebecca said...

You don't need a sucker fish yet. There's nothing for them to eat! Wait until you have algae first. You really need to look up proper care and set up of an aquarium. Adding that many fish to a NEW setup is a disaster waiting to happen. There are many factors in fish keeping that you need to get right first (pH, ammonia, nitrates, etc.). You have to "cycle" the tank!

Izzy said...

Funny -- you put a fish in a plain bowl with no pump and a few rocks, and it'll live ten years. Buy expensive aquariums and fancy pebbles and pumps, and it lives 10 minutes. At least, that's been my experience!

:-)

wahmy said...

Your plan sounds like the best option. Good luck. I suck at keeping fish alive. They're so finicky.

Kama said...

I see fish nazis coming out soon. ;-p I had issues with our fish earlier this year. Whatever you do, do NOT post questions on a fish forum for help. They are assholes intent on ruining your day.

Life, Love And Lola said...

Just get the damn hedgehog. It will most likely be harder for you to kill.

Shannon said...

LOL at pets in the freezer! I'm sorry! ha!

katie b said...

I am also a notorious fish killer. I'm hoping my kids never ask for one so I don't have to explain why they can't have them. And just to make you feel better about having dead pets in your freezer, my aunt kept her dead cockatoo in her freezer for years because she wanted to stuff it and put it back in the cage. She's not crazy either - seriously! :)

Teresa said...

haha.... fish in the freezer is not the mental image that will make this dull day a little more funny!

Wesley's Mom said...

You've got to cycle that tank for a week or two, age the water. Sorry your fish died, they can be difficult pets to keep alive in a new tank.

Native Mom said...

My advice, and this is from experience, get rid of the fish and put a guinea pig in the tank. They are much harder to kill than fish.

LivingLifeBackwards said...

FUCK FISH
That's all I have to say. When Skywalker was 3 I thought I'd be the super cool mom and let him have his own fish.... I made many secret trips to the pet store. My dad nicknamed our fish tank "The Death Bowl"
We now have 2 dogs.

Colleen said...

Walmart has a 90 day return policy--receipt and corpse are necessary to complete the transaction. Ask me how I know...

Desiree said...

I counter your 5 dead fish in the freezer with the dead ferret I had in my fridge for 4 days last week.

Yup that didn't make me sound crazy or anything LOL.

Nikky said...

My mom had a super expensive salt-water tank for the longest time, and once the light malfunctioned or something and zapped all the fish. She kept them in the freezer forever. I have no idea why. I can't say she ever kept ferrets, though :)

We did have the pigs head that one time... but that was disposed of later that night. Take that, crappy neighbor lady!

Ms. Attitude said...

Maybe you should try betas. They are hardy little fish and you only have to put 1 in a bowl.