Mini-mental breakdown in progress. little kid has been a real jerk all morning long. He was ramming furniture with his ride-on motorcycle so I took it and put it in the garage and he's really pissed at me. As he sobbed that he wasn't going to play with me ever again, I heard him say, "See dat? I got my naked butt out for you. At's for you, mumum," and I looked up to see him mooning me. "I got my butt out for you," he said angrily. So I put him in time out and 10 minutes later he is still sobbing and crying. He's standing here screaming now that he was born with that motorcycle and that I need to go back to work and leave him alone and how we can never be friends again.
During this, Big Kid is talking over him to tell me that he's creating (that's his new word, he is creating all kinds of stuff these days) a meatball shooter so that instead of cooking the meatballs, I can just shoot them from a gun onto his plate which is a pretty cool idea even though we don't eat spaghetti and meatballs, but now is really not the time to broach the subject with me.
Now little kid is screaming about what a good boy he is while vibrating in anger and making his Hulk faces. He just told me he's going to make a bunch of bees sting me.
I'm ready to lose my mind. I just want everyone to be quiet.