Thursday, March 21, 2013

The Thing About the Hair


This is a little awkward, but in my site statistics I see that I get a lot of google traffic on a post I did about having curly hair. Specifically, a lot of people are searching to avoid triangle head, and I think it is hilarious that term shows up in the results so often. I have a head full of naturally curly hair and wrote a very popular post encouraging my curly-headed friends to embrace it and that curly hair is awesome!

And then I straightened it with Keratin treatments. I know. I'm a traitor. For the record, I wouldn't have gone out of my way to do that, I barter copywriting and marketing for salon services and it was a "Well, hey, why not?" kind of thing after too many humid days and uncontrollable hair.

I will admit that I love, love, love it with all of my heart and soul. My hair is straight and sleek and shiny and soft and manageable. It dries quickly and mostly straight. I am no longer phobic about hair cuts. Good hair days are no longer up to the weather, it is really nice. At any hint of a curl, I march back into the salon and have them chemically treat it right out.

I do get a little tired of it just lying there limply though and now that curls are optional, I like to curl it with one of those big curling wand things. One like this but I lost the glove because I'm a rebel without a cause:

And when I say I curl it, I mean make a few haphazard waves and then burn the crap out of my neck. I recently burned myself pretty badly before going to a hockey game, so I had a head full of big, sexy curls and a neck that looked like rotting flesh, and I sat there in agony all night.

When I pointed it out to my mom a few days later she said, "I saw it but didn't want to say anything in case it was a wart." A wart?!? For the love of God, if I have a bloody, scabby, purple, 2 inch wart on my neck, please do mention it! What the hell? I felt no better about it at that point.

I still have a scar on my neck.

I am no quitter, though, because I feel fancy with Kardashian-like curls, I just lack the coordination. My hair stylist has tried to teach me twice and I have watched lots of videos on my own behalf and while writing articles for the salon, but it still never goes well.

I just saw the following video where she uses a regular curling iron instead of a wand, and the way she clamps it doesn't involve wrapping the hair around a 400 degree bar of burning metal with your hand, and I'm wondering if a new curling iron would magically solve all of my hair problems:

I'm definitely not ready for step 2 though, which involved lots of teasing and hair spray. I actually laughed out loud a little at the thought--knowing me, I'd be walking around with 2 combs, a brush and 46 bobby pins stuck in my hair. I can barely blow dry it without it getting so tangled in the round brush that I consider cutting it off.

So I don't know, maybe you shouldn't be taking hair advice from me at all, people from Google.

Blogher is having a giveaway of $100 or $250 VISA gift cards related to watching these beauty videos, so go do that if you are feeling lucky and/or like money and/or need hair advice. Official rules.

Also,  Clemson Girl and the Coach is pretty good at hair, go ask her.


Nova said...

Ah yes, but have you seen this hair curling tutorial? lol

Unknown said...

LOL, I hadn't seen that until now. That is pretty much exactly how my tutorial would go, but a huge patch of neck skin would come off instead. That is hilarious she uploaded it anyway.

Anonymous said...

I really thought it was a hickey but thought I would be polite and say "wart".

Sasha said...

I am considering growing out my hair again. The last time I did it I was violently ill with a liver infection for 4 months and didn't get to enjoy it or even curl it. In fact, I don't even recall cutting it, I was so sick. So I might just grow it out again. And then I could curl it!

Katie said...

I, too, have naturally curly hair that I embraced for the first 28 years of my life. Then my hairdresser asked if she could try out her new flat iron on my hair, and I never went back. I can cut it in an actual style! I can sleep on it and not have to wash and restyle it the next day! Its amazing and fabulous.

Julie H said...

haha actually did LOL at the wart. Mom's are great.