Thursday, August 29, 2013

Day 3

"When we get a new cat, maybe we could name it Socks," suggested Big Kid, still Socks Clinton's biggest fan. 

So, that's something to look forward to. Or not.

I'd like to say I'm doing better but I've spent a good portion of my day plucking cat hair off of my pillowcase with tweezers and saving it in a folded up piece of tissue in a ziploc bag.

(Please don't tell my husband.)

I've also visited two cat adoption places, and am 95% convinced that getting another smallish black cat and pretending it's my old cat would be a perfectly normal and healthy thing to do. I saw one that would work at the Humane Society. It was a boy, but when I saw him all snuggled up sleeping, I thought, "That's close enough..."

They wouldn't let me hold the cats. I guess I don't blame them.

What's the consensus on rebound pets? It was a horrible idea when we did it with Murphy, but I had a colicky baby and a failing business, so a puppy was a stupid idea, period. I want something soft and fuzzy to love, but I'm afraid it will make me forget how it felt when she purred in my ear or tenderly sniffed at my eyelashes.

Also afraid that little fucker will scratch up my brand new couch. That wouldn't be cute at all.


Jamie said...

It's not crazy to want a pet so soon - the only one that can tell you you're ready is you. When my Opie passed I wasn't ready and then a few months later I was ready to have one yesterday, lol.

You're going to compare every cat to Pearl so remember that. They won't be perfect or do the great things that she used to do. You won't forget those amazing traits she had either <3 Just don't hold that against your new cat <3 You won't forget the awesomeness that is Pearl - ever.

Tara *Icommenttoomuch* said...

For myself, I have a couple rules when it comes to decisions. Small decisions (like, whether or not I want to send a nasty gram to a child's teacher) I wait a minimum of 12 hours...basically, overnight.

Big decisions, I wait a minimum of 7 days. If I still feel strongly after 7 days, then I go through with it. If my feelings are wavering at all, I wait 2 more days and re-evaluate.

Maybe the right kitty will find YOU. You never know!

Unknown said...

That is good advice, Tara. I don't feel particularly ready right now but that might have gone out the window if I actually got to hold a cat. So badly wanting to be around a cat makes it difficult, especially since these places don't make it convenient. Maybe I should demand a volunteer position at the cat sanctuary for the next week and just live among the cats. Surely they need someone to pet those lonely cats!!

I know what you mean, Jamie, when we first got Murphy he seemed like a real dumbass compared to the fabulosity that was Heidi Louise. He actually is kind of a dumbass but I can appreciate that about him now, instead of directly comparing him to her. I want a new cat to have the luxury of being loved 110% for being itself (or do I? I was just considering doppelganger cats so I guess I can't be trusted).

My original plan was to wait a month, and that plan lasted about 24 hours. Maybe I'll go hold a friend's cat.

asnell said...

Ashley - I have not commented yet because I have just felt so sad for you and had no words. I thought maybe I should toughen up and tell you that I am touched because I have just recently "relearned" the love of a pet. When I was a kid we had outside dogs and I don't remember them much.

A month ago we got a puppy and named him.....wait for it....Murphy :). Reading about Pearl made me realize how much I already love Murphy. I didn't get the pet love before. Now I do. I hope you will soon be able to share that with a new animal and we will all get to share in your wonderful, crazy experience.

Your words change people....all the way in Colorado!
I'm thinking of you. Ann

Anonymous said...

When my cat died after 15 years of wonderful companionship, I vowed to never get another pet. The heartbreak was just too much for me. Then a few weeks later, my sister's Golden Retriever stayed with me for a week while they were on vacation - he helped me see how empty my house was. But I couldn't get another cat - I could barely even go into the cat room at the Humane Society. It was too much for me. I ended up getting a dog (and sometimes when I am mad at her, I tell her how much easier a cat was), and I can't imagine my life without her. I did allow myself some time for grief, though, and so do you. And by the way, there will be people who can't understand how you can be so upset by the death of a cat, since they are so standoff-ish, etc. To those people, I have one thing to say - Fuck You. Good luck to you and your family. I love your blog and have been a faithful reader for years.

Cake said...

Hey Ashley, I haven't been around much due to life lately, but I just wanted to say how sorry I am about Pearl and what you went through. I understand how difficult it is, watching and holding my own as she died several years ago.

Nothing ever prepares you and I'm dreading the day that's coming all too soon with our older dog.

Some people don't like the "rebound" pet idea - I do. I think helping another animal who needs a loving home is the greatest act you can perform in their honor, not to mention one of greatest gifts and responsibilities we have as "the superior being."

Good luck and take your time with your decision. <3

eileen c. said...

oh boy, missed a few days, signed on to catch up and now I am a mess. so so sorry. my little timber kitty looks just like yours, and she is 17, I almost smacked the vet when she told me that last week! um, no, 13 at the most you mean, right? oy, hugs, and now I must go find my timber kitty and hug her for me and for you.

Susy said...

Oh my goodness, I've never seen you write such lengthy posts! I'm decidedly NOT an animal person (allergies), but you love who you love, and you obviously loved this cat as much as your family. I'm so very sorry for your loss. You wrote about it beautifully. I'm certain she knows how much you loved her.

The Lovely One said...

I told myself I would wait to get a new cat. I made it 10 days, which I thought was quite impressive.

Congratulations on your new addition! I know it's not the same, but I know they ease the pain some!

Jennifer Sando said...

I found your blog on the Circle of Moms contest and, I must say, there is a reason you are in 1st place. I love your (not so subtle) sarcasm and the way you say things that I would think, but would be reluctant to post, i.e. "Also afraid that little fucker will scratch up my brand new couch. That wouldn't be cute at all." I spit coffee on my computer!" Hope you are enjoying your new kitties and your couch stays safe!

Unknown said...

Thank you so much, Jennifer! Your comment made my day! I'm glad you found us!!