Friday, August 16, 2013

Loss of Inheritance

"How long are we keeping this Capri Sun in the freezer for?" little kid asked. It was one that had lost its straw and was destined to become a picnic cooler ice pack some day.

"Forever. I'm going to give it to your children's children. It's the Ashley Family Sacred Capri Sun--it's our legacy."

Big Kid sighed loudly. "Seriously. What is wrong with you? What kind of family was I born into?"

"I'm going to eat it now." little kid announced. It was frozen solid so I guess he thought he'd eat it like a popsicle or something.

"Then I will tell my great grandchildren that you destroyed the Ashley Family Sacred Capri Sun! That is your inheritance! We are not a wealthy family and you are destroying the one thing I have set aside to pass down to my heirs."

"Mom, he's so bad that I would be shocked--I mean, absolutely shocked if little kid ever had any fruit from his loins." Big Kid contributed.

I cracked up at that, breaking character. "Oh don't worry, I'm sure little kid's loins will have fruit anyway."

"I don't even know what it means, but I'm assuming babies." Big Kid continued.

"I'm seriously going to eat this Capri Sun, guys."

"RESPECT THE POUCH!" Big Kid yelled.

"He's stealing from your grandchildren," I informed Big Kid. "That's half theirs."

little kid ate it anyway.

Sorry, great grandkids.


Jamie said...

I want to just sit around one day and listen, lol. RESPECT THE POUCH is the best line ever.

Unknown said...

I swear I need a voice activated tape recorder (especially in the car, that's where the magic happens) to catch it all. I find myself at stop lights whispering into talk-to-text which then becomes an incomprehensible note.

Unknown said...

Okay, this seriously made me laugh out loud while sitting at my desk. Thank God no one was around! LMAO