Monday, August 5, 2013

Getting Old

Big Kid's birthday is on Thursday.

This is something I've tried not to think about at all but Mr. Ashley had to go and bring it up this morning. "Has Big Kid mentioned his birthday yet today?" he asked on the phone.

"Yes, of course." Big Kid has been counting down for about a month.

"He's going to be 10!"

"I'm trying not to really think about it. It's stressful for me. He's going to be in 5th grade and I'm not old enough to be the mom of a 5th grader."

"5th grade! It is unreal. Ugh."

"Next year, he will be in MIDDLE SCHOOL. You know what happens when your kids enter middle school?"


"You're officially old. Period."

"We're not old. I'm not old."

"You will be when you have a kid in middle school. You better enjoy the next year. If you have a kid in middle school, everyone younger than you thinks 'Wow, I'm glad I'm not that old,' and everyone your age who doesn't have a kid in middle school feels smug and younger than you because you are middle-aged now, no matter what."

"How did this happen?"

"It's bullshit. It's not right!"

"It's not."

 "Next year, we will have a third grader and a middle schooler. People will not see us as the parents of little boys anymore. We will not be the parents of little boys, just plain boys."

"That's sad. I can't believe it."

"Me neither. I'm going back to not thinking about it."

A few minutes later I casually mentioned my (new found, temporary, and probably only because it is physically impossible) desire for a baby boy who I would name Max. (Max Atlas, but I didn't tell Mr. Ashley that part because he would never agree to a name like that...until high off of endorphins in the delivery room where I would passionately unveil my plan) and Mr. Ashley laughed so hard I thought he would pee his pants. A very genuine laugh.

"A baby? Imagine us right now with a baby. God. You and three boys in that house. Poop and diapers and waking up--ugh! I know for a fact that I do NOT want a baby at this point in my life."

I know he's right. He's actually the only one who even likes babies so if he doesn't want one, it's really not a good plan. It's just hard to let go of the idea of being the mom of little boys. So it seems like I need new little boys. I realize this is not my most rational thinking.

But Max Atlas is a kick ass name, and it would solve the problem of me seeming old.


Lisalu said...'s pretty gut-wrenching. I'm now the mom of TWO middle schoolers, and while my birth year probably rendered me middle-aged a while ago, it's milestones like this that really make me feel it. However, this growing up stage is also pretty cool. You relate to them in whole new ways. But this time next year when I'll have a freshman in high school, I can guarantee you I'll be a basket case!

JulieStyles said...

I hear you Ashley. I'm the mom of teenage boys - 13 & 15. I do NOT feel old enough for this age, but then again I couldn't believe they let me take them home from the hospital all those years ago.

Anonymous said...

I was shopping with my mum and she was trying on hats, I told her she looked good, but when she looked in the mirror she turned to me and said - "oh no , it makes me look like an old woman". I laughed out loud and said " mum, you are 82, you are an old woman"
moral of the story - no one ever thinks they are old , so don't start worrying now - there is a long time ahead of you before you need to start thinking you are old.
Kind Regards

Anonymous said...

My BK started middle school today. I also have a 9 month old and another due in November, so I guess I'm only old-ish.

shelly said...

I know exactly what you mean, mourning the little-boy stage. My youngest is 7 1/2 and now walks around the house going "Huuuuuuuh!" in this really deep voice. I hate it and told him so the other day. So far he just does it more quietly. While I still love that he'll climb into my lap, he's all gangly limbs and usually smells less than sweet. But I'm with Mr. A-no babies here either!

Anonymous said...

I have a 3 year old boy and a 17 month old boy. Come borrow one or both for an afternoon, you know, whenever you feel Max Atlas calling your name. I'd like a nap or maybe just a shower by myself, and then you'd squelch that baby fever dead in its tracks. xoxo

asnell said...

I feel you Ashley. I am hanging on to 4th and 5th grade this year because it will all be over next year. I just embarrassed my 9 year old the other day. He actually said, "I Yi (eye) Yi (eye)"....oh no...I have already become embarrassing!

Pretty soon we will be empty nesters waiting for the text message from our college kid...sniff