Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Dear Children's Book Publishers,

Who came up with the idea of books that make noise? Because that was the dumbest freaking idea ever.

I've heard sporadic doorbell sounds for the last 20 minutes or so and decided to investigate. Turns out, little kid is playing with a book--a book that has buttons that make obnoxious, echoing sounds.

This is wrong on so many levels. Books shouldn't annoy me. Books should be quiet. Books don't need noises, batteries, or flashing lights. I know everyone's in a race to improve upon everything, but the only improvement books need is better writing and better illustrations.

It would also be great if they fit nicely on a shelf. I know you think your ginormous, oversized book is eye-catching and it is--every time I see it, it catches my eye and I think "Oh, there's that gigantic-ass book I'm never sure what to do with," and I secretly hate it for messing up the continuity of my shelves.

Let's just have normal sized, quiet books with good stories inside. No batteries required.

Kthxbai,
Ashley

14 comments:

p jane said...

Agreed! We have a noisy Sesame Street book, and while I love Sesame Street, I could do without hear "COOKIE!!! HEh heh heh..." over and over.

Meghan said...

Amen.

meghan

Preppy Pettit said...

I just dealt with big books that refuse to line up on shelves!

Anonymous said...

Amen!!!!!

Diann

Jennifer said...

Make it a petition and I'll sign it.

Beth said...

While I did away with the noisy books years ago, the big ass whale book my son insists on keeping still drives me freakin' nuts!

Tara said...

I told my daughter, when she turned 4, that books that make noise were for babies so she needed to give them to the "poor little kids" (what we call Goodwill.) I give the huge books to schools (usually whichever one I'm working at).

A friend I worked with gave Aidan an "Elmo Goes Potty Book." I wanted to kill my friend. I think it was more of a gag gift on me. I heard "Elmo can use the potty" and a flushing toilet a million times. She was evil.

Bren said...

We got Mags a potty training book where the toilet flushing noise is SO LOUD! It's louder than ten actual toilets all right next to each other. I keep meaning to remove the tiny battery but keep forgetting.

Life, Love And Lola said...

Well said!!!

Teresa said...

When I get mad at my brother I buy my niece and nephew the most annoying sound books I can find. and give them glitter for their crafts. No lie.

Kara said...

Just put a piece of tape over the sound box part of the book... it will muffle the sound quite nicely.

mlatulip said...

You know... Eric just finished writing his last book & I'm going to bet that his offer still stands to look at your McCurliecue... Fuck those POS books and publish your own damn books!!

Bored Mum said...

I hate those damned things too. My kids make enough noise on their own, so that when it is quiet reading time, it should be quiet damn it, not riddled with sound effects and characters that talk loudly to the reader!

Olive Rue said...

Hey Tara. The one I went had them mixed in with the other knobs and drawer pulls. But to be honest there weren't that many of them. They went fast.