Friday, July 10, 2009

Medical History

When I got home Mr. Ashley told me that Big Kid wanted to know if I'd ever been on Paxil.

"Um, no. Why do you ask?"

"It can cause birf defects in your child. Heart defects, actually."

"Wh-what?"

"Taking Paxil can cause heart defects in your unborn childrens. Dat's why I need to know," Big Kid insisted defensively.

"Uh, no. No, I did not take Paxil while pregnant."

"'Cuz it can cause problems wif your unborn child. You know, while it's still in your tummy."

Talking over Mr. Ashley who was laughing so hard I was worried he might pee his pants,"Well, I didn't take it, so no worries here."

"Look dad, don't make fun about serious fings. Paxil is a serious fing. It can cause defects! DEFECTS! Paxil's serious!"

...Now, I know when you're reading it on someone else's blog it's funny--but what normal 5-year-old fixates on side effects of various anti-depressants??? It is so absurd and bizarre and so perfectly Big Kid.

Earlier today he asked if we could buy a machine that looked like a refrigerator but was really an incubator that we'd put our napkins in, and the napkins would turn boiling red if they were really dirty, but not to worry! because the incubator-frigerator would really be "disinfectin" all of our napkins, especially the boiling red ones.

Why do we need disinfected napkins?? Why does he even know the word disinfected?

It's just so weird. It's like he's someone else's kid. Neither Mr. Ashley or I will hesitate to eat something that's dropped briefly to the floor (5 second rule, bitches) but we have a child who wants special machinery to disinfect our napkins and who needs to know my medical history.

12 comments:

Lin said...

lol, he's so adorable!

Paige said...

On the other hand, think of all the time this will free up for you. You never need to worry again about health issues, cleanliness issues, hell--much of anything--because you know he is on top of it.

You can rest now

MommytoTommy said...

Lol okay I am seriously cracking up over here!! Big Kid is freaking hysterical!

katie b said...

I'm telling you...little kid was put on this earth to drive big kid completely and utterly insane.

KK said...

I am laughing sooo hard! Big Kid never fails to make my day!!

emma hughes said...

I love reading about your kids! I can't wait until my little one starts talking!!

Jennifer said...

I hope he never sees that thing that they sterilize instruments in at the doctor's offce.... and the nail salon. He would totally be wanting one of those.

Maggie said...

I was once called my the school nurse because my first grade daughter was worrying about the stock market too much. There IS a downside to being smart and serious!

because I said so said...

my 7 year old just asked me the exact same question LAST NIGHT!!

she saw the same commercial (or one for Paxil anyway) and was concerned

so funny....I thought it was hilarious

Life, Love And Lola said...

Fucking Hilarious! Big Kid makes my day!

the mom said...

hahahah! I just saw the Paxil commercial on Nick during sponge bob.

carla said...

I'm thinking the the Paxil on Nick commercials is genuis for the medical companies. I mean, let's get them to start worrying @ the youngest age possible, so they'll need our product.

BK is a riot.