When I got home Mr. Ashley told me that Big Kid wanted to know if I'd ever been on Paxil.
"Um, no. Why do you ask?"
"It can cause birf defects in your child. Heart defects, actually."
"Taking Paxil can cause heart defects in your unborn childrens. Dat's why I need to know," Big Kid insisted defensively.
"Uh, no. No, I did not take Paxil while pregnant."
"'Cuz it can cause problems wif your unborn child. You know, while it's still in your tummy."
Talking over Mr. Ashley who was laughing so hard I was worried he might pee his pants,"Well, I didn't take it, so no worries here."
"Look dad, don't make fun about serious fings. Paxil is a serious fing. It can cause defects! DEFECTS! Paxil's serious!"
...Now, I know when you're reading it on someone else's blog it's funny--but what normal 5-year-old fixates on side effects of various anti-depressants??? It is so absurd and bizarre and so perfectly Big Kid.
Earlier today he asked if we could buy a machine that looked like a refrigerator but was really an incubator that we'd put our napkins in, and the napkins would turn boiling red if they were really dirty, but not to worry! because the incubator-frigerator would really be "disinfectin" all of our napkins, especially the boiling red ones.
Why do we need disinfected napkins?? Why does he even know the word disinfected?
It's just so weird. It's like he's someone else's kid. Neither Mr. Ashley or I will hesitate to eat something that's dropped briefly to the floor (5 second rule, bitches) but we have a child who wants special machinery to disinfect our napkins and who needs to know my medical history.