Tuesday, July 21, 2009

little kid list

1. He is dressing himself these days--almost exclusively in a camo tank top with a helicopter screen-printed on it that went directly into the Goodwill pile after receiving it as a gift for Big Kid. little kid found it and wants to wear nothing but his "bad guy" shirt--even if it is dirty. If I manage to hide it, he insists on another tank top so he can see his muscles. He usually goes with jeans or camo shorts, occasionally he'll insist on board shorts. Then he wears his boots. Always. Although cute, he is the perfect picture of white trash in these outfits. I have seriously considered getting him one of those "Hello my name is" tags and writing "I DRESS MYSELF" in black Sharpie on it.

2. He has worn his goggles and snorkle every day since vacation. For those of you without kids, pulling goggles with an elastic band over a gigantic head of soft, curly hair is no easy feat. Yet I do it, 4 or 5 times a day, regardless of whether or not there is any water around to swim in. He's wearing them now.

3. Every single morning at 7:30 a.m., I wake up to the sound of "MUMUM, WILL YOU WIPE MY BUTT?" being screamed at me from his side of the house. I know you're about to say that it's better than him wiping himself on my shower curtain, but it sure doesn't feel like it some days. I am not a morning person to begin with, the VERY last thing I want to do is wake up to screaming and butt wiping first freaking thing every single day.

4. He starts thinking about breakfast the moment he opens his eyes. The rest of the family are slow risers. We get up, hang out, watch some television, and generally wait an hour or so before breakfast. Not little kid. Immediately after I wipe his butt in the mornings, I hear, "You get me dinner now?" If I insist on coffee first, he stands there and stares at me and goes on and on about how hungry he is. Big Kid rolls out of bed around 9ish and doesn't want to eat until 10ish, so I have to make breakfast twice.

So, as we already know, he can be a real pain in the butt. It's a good thing he's cute and so unbelievably affectionate. He's an amazing cuddler, he just melts his body into yours comfortably regardless of how you're sitting. He's also one of the funniest little people I've ever met, his personality is bigger than his body. Unfortunately, he knows this.

These qualities, and the fact that orphanages are so hard to find these days, make me want to keep him.

13 comments:

catfish said...

OMG, I think he's a lot like your dad!

Ashley said...

He's exactly like my dad! Obsessed with weird shit, does annoying stuff to get a reaction, loves Walmart, dresses himself oddly and likes other people to do stuff for him. They are 2 peas in a very weird pod.

Shannon said...

Quick Question.. How did you get the Givoogle box on your sidebar? I'd like to add it to mine as well. Thanks!

Ashley said...

Shannon, I just saved the logo as an image and then uploaded the image and listed the URL as Givoogle.

They should make a widget and offer it on their page.

So just right click mine, save as, and then add the image to your sidebar.

Jennifer said...

I totally love the stories about Little Kid. He reminds me so much of my little brother. Jason had these jeans that he LOVED, kid proof pants, that was the brand. I have no idea where my mom got the, but they were his favorite thing... even when they were about two inches too short, and he wanted to wear them everywhere. Of course my mom let him because it wasn't worth the hassle to argue, but I (being seven years older) was mortified that he was leaving the house that way. I mean what would people (my friends) think. Oh, and he wore them with cowboy boots. LOL

Anonymous said...

My son's favorite outfit a too small robin costume, camo bandanna on his face, cheap straw cowboy hat, and rubber boots that looked like cowboy boots. He wore it everywhere when he was 4.

Susanne said...

I've been reading this blog for a while now. Some days, it's a lifesaver! I'm glad there's at least one other mom out there keeping it real (as opposed to most of the moms I know, who talk endlessly about organic food and the dangers of Diet Coke and who make me want to eat a giant Little Debbie cake while drinking a supersized Diet Coke and then wash it all down with a shot of something strong).

I think my son and Little Kid must be related somehow. My kid is the same way. Like Little Kid, his cuteness, charm, and cuddly nature are his saving graces.

Angela said...

Wow he is so much like my four yr old Isaiah that it is almost freaky! I wake up to wipe my butt too and I am NOT a morning person so it stinks~~literally!

Stu Pidasso said...

Came by from Mama Kat's. Grqat post, really funny.....and the cat picture about comments made me giggle....I'd shoot the cat anyway..LOL..JK.

Cheers!

Mrs. A 2009 said...

Stopping by from Mamma Kat's. I love your story of Little Kid. My 5 year old is the exact same. Every morning before his eyes are open he wants cereal. Then he proceeds to dress in clothes that are too small for him because that's what he thinks fits and no matter the outfit, he has to have his cowboy boots on. We are just getting over the "mom, I need my butt wiped" stuff.

Raine said...

Sounds like a fun guy!

parentingBYdummies said...

Funny! My #2 insists on wearing boots with every outfit. He even wore his cowboy boots to the pool last week. He's got the fashion sense of a 4 year old...Oh! That's because he is one:)

Life with Kaishon said...

That shirt sounds HAWT! And I love the idea of the name tag. It's always a good idea to clarify for the world that you are not the perpetrator of the bad outfits :)