Tuesday, July 14, 2009

He Can Fly!

I just spent the last 10 minutes trying to convince little kid that he CAN NOT fly. He's certain that he can now that his muscles are growing so big and even though I've explained that muscle size does not relate to ability to fly since people can not fly, he keeps muttering about being a super hero and giving me dirty looks. I'm pretty sure he's going to jump from something soon.

He insisted on putting on a wife-beater tank top (slightly too small) so he could see his muscles and is also wearing cowboy boots and a cowboy hat. He wore a T-Rex pajama t-shirt, plaid shorts and cowboy boots to Big Kid's violin lesson today. It was adorably ridiculous and not worth fighting over.

Once he changed into the tank top, he picked up a heavy wooden stool and tried to carry it down the hall way (most likely to climb onto something to jump/fly from). He stumbled with it, put it down and sadly said, "I guess my muscles not as big as I sought," and stuck his lower lip out like he was going to cry. I assured him that his muscles were huge, especially in that shirt, and encouraged him to push the stool over to me so I could make sure he didn't jump from it.

"Why you not let me try to fly, mumum? I not get hurt. Dest watch!"

"No, little kid."

"Why not? Pwease?"

"We don't have insurance."

"We get some at Wal-mart! Okay? Den I fly?"

"Yep, then you can fly."

Living with a 2 year old is like living with someone continuously on drugs--they're dangerous, irrational, unpredictable, delusional and difficult to communicate with.

12 comments:

Funny in my mind said...

Sounds a lot like living with an 18 year old. He doesn't want to fly, just wants to waste gas and drive everywhere but all the other descriptions fit.
Also, we have had guinea pigs and they are sweet and don't smell too bad. I used pine shaving instead of cedar and they are easy to take care. Sucks if they get cancer and die young, kids cry and make you have funerals!

Judy said...

Love love love your blog. It ALWAYS makes me laugh. Each. and. everyday. Thank you

Preppy Pettit said...

So funny! My twin 4 year olds think you can buy anything from Target.

Lin said...

He's adorable!

Jennifer said...

I don't know if you have ever read the Stephanie Plum novels, but the main character always thought she could fly when she was a kid too.

You never know. Maybe he can. ;)

Kimberly said...

"Living with a 2 year old is like living with someone continuously on drugs--they're dangerous, irrational, unpredictable, delusional and difficult to communicate with"

LOVE IT!!! That is my new motto! You crack me up

Anonymous said...

Jennifer: I thought of exactly the same thing! Steph jumping from the garage in her pursuit of intergalactic princess dreams. Ah, giggles. Such great books.

Side note, my brother at age 7 was convinced he was a BMX star and could ride his bike from our roof to the shed to the ground. Well, he tried (to this day I dunno how he got the bike on the roof) and broke his nose. I thought he was pretending, and began throwing rocks at him (the proper course of action for a 5 year old), finishing with a small brick and giving him a concussion. Bad day to be Willie.

p jane said...

"Living with a 2 year old is like living with someone continuously on drugs--they're dangerous, irrational, unpredictable, delusional and difficult to communicate with"

So very true! If you ever come across Jo Koy on Comedy Central late at night, give him a look. He starts off one set with, "Having a kid is like living with a crazy drunk midget," then continues on with all the similarities. Hubby and I cried laughing because our youngest (4) is cranked up to eleven most of the time, too.

Good job convincing little kid to wait for the WMart insurance before flying at least...

Anonymous said...

my little sister tried to start her school bus (by sticking mom's keys in an electric socket) and fly (breaking collarbone) within a couple week time span. i think she was close to 4 at the time.

i hope you and little kid survive. my little one tried to shout me down that a white tailed deer we saw was really a kangaroo. almost every time i read your little kid and big kid stories, it reminds me of my two.

Life, Love And Lola said...

little kid stories rock! Whay isle do you find insurance in at Walmart? LMAO!

Tara said...

I just told my 4-year old that when I get a million dollars she can have a pink guitar from Target. She's a lot like a deranged drug addict...very difficult to talk down once she gets the idea of her next fix in her head and there's no intervention or rehab in the world that will fix 4.

Rebecca said...

I loved this: Living with a 2 year old is like living with someone continuously on drugs--they're dangerous, irrational, unpredictable, delusional and difficult to communicate with.

If I give you credit, can I quote it on my facebook, etc?