Monday, October 19, 2009

Dear Lindsay Lohan,


Drugs are bad....mmmmmkay?

You are 23 years old. You do not look like you are 23 years old, you look like you died 23 years ago and someone recently dug you up to drag you around weekend-at-Bernie's-style.

Are you aiming to be the next Courtney Love, without the talented dead husband?

You need:

1. to be quarantined
2. rehab
3. a sandwich

You make me puke in my mouth a little and I'm certain you smell bad.

Regrets (you gotz 'em, lolz),
Ashley

16 comments:

Mommy Wis(h)dom said...

LOL! That was great. I totally agree. I love the "weekend at Bernie's style".

Cara said...

OMG she looks horrible....

Beth said...

When my girls were young, we soooo enjoyed her in The Parent Trap. It makes me sad to see what she's become, but she is, indeed, disgusting now. I blame her mother.

the dumbest smart girl you know said...

Pahaha! So funny, so true.

Anonymous said...

OMG, you are the funniest person ever - I just fell off my chair

Jennifer said...

Agreed. Baby Girl is sitting here with me and she didn't recognize them as the same person. Good lesson for not using drugs.

Joy said...

Um Yea she looks nasty

t said...

Holy crap! I knew she looked bad (particularly old), but I didn't realize how bad she actually looked until old Lindsay and new Lindsay were put side by side.

She was absolutely gorgeous back then! What the hell happened??

LceeL said...

Too much, too soon. That's what she's had and been given.

It's happened so many times before and will happen yet so many times again.

All we can do is sit on the sidelines and watch her, and all of them like her, crash and burn.

Ms. Attitude said...

Oh gosh, she looks terrible. I was really routing for her too. I hope she can come out of this because she can be a good actress.

Lin said...

Ha ha, you're hilarious! I love that you totally did the Mr. Mackey thing.

What the eff happened to this girl? She used to be somewhat of a red-headed hottie, now she just looks like a crackhead street walker. So sad.

Valerie said...

This makes me sad. I blame her asshole parents. You know, her younger sister Ali has been out at the clubs with her before and I think she is only 15 or 16 maybe? I would have had my ass handed to me if my mom knew (and Dina HAS to know) that I was out clubbing at that age. Don't even get me started on her father. You know he has a reality show in the works with Jon Gosselin? Something about being a single dad...I dunno.

Life, Love And Lola said...

OH MY NASTINESS! She needs more than a sandwich!

Caitlin said...

OMG HILARIOUS! I made my husband read it too. Hahahaha. Love it.

Maddness of Me said...

Now I KNOW you will do anything for blog fodder :)

but I think you should name her Kimberly.

We need to get Internet donations going to make this thing happen.

M said...

Hilarious Can't stop laughing. I think LeLo should now pull a Brit Brit & clean herself up. Shes discusting LOL!!