The other day we were in the car and Big Kid suddenly said, "Why don't we go to church?"
A feeling of guilt, and I hate to admit it, dread, crept in.
"Church? What made you think of that?"
"I dest wanna go to church is all."
"Oh. Okay. We can do that. Why do you want to go to church?"
"So I can judge people."
"So I can judge if people are bad or good."
"Wait...what? What are you talking about?"
"Church is where you go to judge people and decide if they are bad or good."
"No, it's not. It's not supposed to be like that. Church is where you go to worship God."
"Worship God. That's what you do there."
"Whore ship bogs? What?"
"Wor-ship God. You know, appreciate and celebrate God."
"Pod? Who is Pod?"
"God, Big Kid. God. G-O-D, God!"
"Oh God! Is God the judge?"
"Well, yeah. But church isn't really about judging people."
"Mom, church is where you go to decide who is guilty and who is innocent."
"Wait--are you thinking of 'court'?"
"No. Church. You know, where the judge is and where people go to decide who is guilty and who is innocent. Church."
"You mean court. You're talking about people breaking laws? Needing lawyers and going to jail and stuff?"
"Yes, but that's church, mom. My teacher said."
"No, babe, really it's not. That's court. Court and church are entirely separate."
"Can we go to court then?"
"I'd rather not."
"Please! I'll give you a dollar! Pleeeeeeeeeeease take me to court, mom, please! I promise to be good, please, please, please take me to court."
"Uh, okay. One day we'll go to court, I guess."
Sounds almost as fun as church.