Thursday, October 29, 2009


little kid has recently become obsessed with Hummers. He spotted one in traffic the other day (they are everywhere in my city, which is ironic since we don't have a hill or mountain or dangerous driving condition in sight) and started asking what it was.

"A truck," I answered.

"What's it called? I know iz a truck, what's 'at truck's name?"

"A Hummer."

"A Pumper? Wow, Pumpers look so cool, mumum!"

"Haha, no Hummer. With an "H" sound. I guess they are cool, real Hummers are used in the army because they are bullet proof and can climb mountains and stuff."


Now I can't drive anywhere without hearing, "A Humper, mumum! Look at da Humper!!" several times from the back seat. If we see one in a parking lot, he begs to approach it for a closer look. I don't correct his mispronunciation because it's so cute and funny, and because I think Hummers are kind of lame (overcompensating much, men-with-small-penises?). I may start calling them Humpers myself.

little kid swears he will have a Humper or a Monster Truck or a Monster Truck Humper one day. He probably will.

He also loves motorcycles. A neighbor of ours has a Vespa and I pointed it out and said, "Look at the motorcycle!" and he said, "At is not a motorcycle, at is a scooter. Totally different, mumum, it is." I have no idea where he learned the difference between a scooter and a motorcycle. He's right though, it is totally different.

We have another neighbor with an orange Lotus and little kid points and screams, "MUMUM--'ere goes da cool guy in his wotus! Hey cool dude!" as he waves. I think the neighbor enjoys the attention (or why else would he be driving a bright orange Lotus?) but it's a little embarrassing for me. I believe I told you all about the time we were out to eat and little kid spent the whole time staring at the guy next to us, who had driven up in a yellow Ferrari, and whispering "At is a bad dude. One baaaaad dude."

I guess it works out because he gives these people the attention they bought and paid for, and he gets to admire their rides, but it has led to some awkward encounters.


Samma said...

Hahhaha- Little Kid is so funny. Everytime I see a Hummer I angrily mutter "Small Penis!". It confuses the hell out of my husband.


My husband was a .50 cal gunner on a HMMWV (or as the Army calls them, Humvee) when he was in Iraq. little kid would probably like pictures of that. If so, email me and I can email you pictures of them. Better for him to get off on US military might than "small penis cars and trucks", right? ;) Maybe he'll be a soldier instead of a Hell's Angel. :)

Amy said...

My husband drives an itty bitty Austin Healy Sprite. At 6'4" he barely fits in it. And you're right about guys over-compensating with big cars/trucks for their shortcomings down below. The opposite is also true - lucky me.

Former Fat Chick said...

coco and I were talking about little kid this weekend...coco did a very good impression of him fighting babies in my kitchen