Monday, October 5, 2009


This morning Big Kid called out, "I don't know what's goin' on, mom, but this cereal sure is messy. Sorry 'bout the mess."

I looked over to see a dribbled milk trail from where he was sitting to about 8 inches to his left, where his cereal bowl was.

"Uh, Big Kid?," I asked, sliding his bowl in front of him, "Maybe you should pull the bowl closer? Ever think of that?"

"No, good idea! That'll do it!" he said happily.

Exasperated, "Big Kid, for being so smart, you really have a hard time with some simple concepts."

He stared at me blankly, "I don't understand what you're saying."

"I'm saying I think it is funny that you're so smart, but you have a hard time with things that seem like they would be easy--you know, like realizing the milk was dripping because your bowl was way over there."

More staring, "I don't get it. What are you trying to say?"


"I just don't get what you're talkin' about, sorry."

"Yeah, I know. It's okay."

"Well, now I want to know. What you're saying."

"I'm saying that you are a super smart boy who gets confused about things like socks and cereal. That seems funny, to be so smart but still so silly sometimes."

"Yeah. I don't get it. What?"

"Are you kidding?"

"About what?"

That was the start of my day and it only got more frustrating from there.

The day ended with me screaming, "LITTLE KID, ENOUGH WITH THE WATER! TURN IT OFF!" I heard a mumbled reply over the running bathroom sink faucet and asked Big Kid what he had said. Big Kid answered, "He said 'I'M BRUSHING MY TEETH, FUCKER!'"


"Um, he said, 'I'm brushing my teeth, fucker', 'cept he yelled it."

Upon further interrogation, I'm not positive he said that. He's been calling everyone a bucket head lately (I don't know why) but either way I'm concerned that he either said it or that Big Kid used it correctly in thinking he said it.

Those were the highlights of the day. I left out the gory details. It was not a good parenting day.


miss. chief said...

hahaha "i don't get what you're trying to say"

that's hilarious

Darling said...

He prolly was saying Brother....

Paige said...

I promise, if you are not the mother--"Im brushing my teeth, fucker" is the funniest thing you will hear all day

lindsey said...

i love it. LOVE it. my daughter fell out of the car the other day and said, "ahhh shit."

i would have been LESS upset if it hadn't been grandma and grandpa - in - laws car.

i'm mom of the year ;)

Unknown said...

I'll never forget my three year old son, who, upon breaking his favorite fire truck, said, "Well fuck me dead." LM (Love Muffin) was horrified, Grannie thought it was hilarious.

Jennifer said...

Ok I know that isn't supposed to be funny, but I laughed.... really hard. Sorry.

~Melissa~ said...

I'm laughing out loud at these comments.

Life, Love And Lola said...

Oh shit!!! Maybe he said Mudder??

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh....that had me belly laughing.

Katie said...

OMG! That's hysterical! Especially considering my 3 year old has recently starting using the word "fucking" in the right way. For instance, "look at all those fucking kids, mommy." She learned it from me too. I try so hard to not swear, but she's learned the "f" word, "damn it," and "jesus christ" from me. Bad momma.

Vee said...

I agree with Paige... that's so funny when it isn't your kid. My boys call each other Bucket Head. I think it came from Spongebob.

Hippie at Heart said...


Claire said...

I am laughing so hard right now because that is something my 3 1/2 year old would say!! That made my afternoon!

Anonymous said...

WOW!!!What a day you had.. I got a good one for you.. I have a 4 yr old boy and a 2 yr old girl.. Im in the bathroom brushing my teeth and boy walks in climbs up on the closed lid toilet and huffs and puffs... interested in whats going on, I say "whats wrong lil man" his reply 'Sissy is a pain in da ask".. I almost swallowed my toothbrush to keep from LMAO right in front of him.. I corrected him and quickly shuffled him out of the bathroom so I could gain some control..over myself... hope this made you laugh and that your day is better today!! =D

Unknown said...

Pain in the ask is hysterical, that would be a new inside joke around here. I'd be calling Mr. Ashley a "Pain in the Ask" for the rest of our lives.

And yes, I could totally see the humor in "I'm brushing my teeth, Fucker!" if I wasn't responsible for raising it ;-) There was a split second where I wasn't sure whether I should laugh or scream. (I screamed).

LivingLifeBackwards said...

Ahhh ha ha ha ha, OK I'll tell my kids story. When Skywalker was around 6 years old we were driving in the car and he asked if we could go to McDonald's. I didn't answer because I was talking on my phone. As we drove past Mc D's he says "well there just went the Goddamn McDonald's" I thought I was going to pee.
Then when Zaber was 2 he was sitting in the kitchen when BD came home from work. BD said "Hi, Zaber!" wthout out missing a beat Zaber says "Fuck you Daddy"
Where's my mother of the year award?

Unknown said...

"well there just went the Goddamn McDonald's" literally made me laugh out loud.

Geez, they hear more than we think, don't they?

bugs mom said...

OK, I have had that same cereal conversation with my 6 year old daughter. She is brilliant, yet totally lacks common sense most of the time. I refer to her as our "idiot savant", just not to her face....
She can identify the planets, but when you ask her to pick something up that is right in front of her, she walks around in a circle looking at the floor .... Exasperating! LOL
As for little kid, I don't know what to tell you...I have the feeling my 9 month old son is going to be a handful, too!