The other day, Big Kid declared that it was "Punching people in the Face" day the next day. I don't know why, I guess it is a boy thing, but he likes to joke about getting punched in the face or punching someone in the face (which explains why little kid says it, but when Big Kid does it, he is clearly joking. I think little kid probably would punch someone in the face if he felt the need).
But this joke stopped being funny about 350 "punch someone in the face" jokes ago. We've even instituted a ban on any talk of punching oneself, or others, in the face.
"Really?" I answered, "Cool, because there are a few people I'd like to punch in the face. I'll do it tomorrow."
Big Kid paused. "Are you kidding?"
"Me? No. I'm making a list right now. I might just drive around town and punch some people in the face. So far I have 6 or 7 people on the list."
"Mom, you can't punch people in da face."
"You can on "Punch people in the face" day. Right?"
He studied me for signs of joking and then went back to playing the computer.
Over dinner I told Mr. Ashley, "Big Kid said that tomorrow is 'Punching people in the face' day" and with no pre-planning or prompting from me, Mr. Ashley said, "Nice. It's going to be a great day at work tomorrow if I can punch people in the face."
Big Kid nervously asked, "Mom? Um, what would happen if adults started punching adults in the face? Like, for no reason?"
"They'd go to jail, you can't punch people in the face, except for on--"
"Mom, dere is no 'Punching people in the face' day'! I made dat up 'cuz it's funny," blurted out a distressed Big Kid.
"Oh! Well, it wouldn't have been so funny had we ended up in jail, now would it?"
Yeah. I'm mean. But so is Mr. Ashley and we're sick and tired of "punching in the face" jokes.
(Although the idea of a "Punching people in the face" day is pretty appealing.)