Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Poop Bomb Blow Up

The poop bomb thrower has struck again.

It was raining this morning, but I spotted a plastic bag in the yard and just couldn't believe it was what I thought it was, so I walked out there and sure enough--dog crap, not the size of our dogs.

Our dogs haven't been misbehaving at all either. That fat piece of crap behind us starts barking any time it sees my dogs out there, and I rush right out to bring them back in, even though they have every right to be out there. (That stops right now.)

I'm really mad this time and Mr. Ashley says he is going over there with poop bag in hand and asking what the hell is going on when he gets home tonight. This time they didn't even try to throw it so that it would implicate our side neighbors--unless someone walked into my backyard to place a bag of shit under an orange tree, it was thrown from their yard.

I will also now definitely launch at least one cat turd into their pool.

Fuckers.

16 comments:

Jennifer said...

How exactly do you launch a cat turd?

M said...

If there was ever a time for a hidden camera, this is it.

Screw the cat turds.

Head on over when they aren't home and take little kid sans swim diaper and after a big ole bowl of fresh strawberries.

Life, Love And Lola said...

Seriously??? What assholes!

Joy said...

put it in a paper bag and light it on fire then ring the bell and run:)

I would seriously freak the fuck out on someone, I mean I don't like my neighbors and they don't even throw poop in my yard!

Bren said...

Wow - and I thought my rock throwing neighbor kids were bad! What is up with that!!!

Snarky Mom said...

Oh Joy, you're a girl after my own heart. I actually DID light a bag of poo on fire and stick it on my old neighbors doorstep after he let his little yappy dog shit all over my sidewalk for the millionth time. It was great. It was liberating. I highly recommend it.

Tara said...

That's nuts. What passive aggressive wimps! I'd definitely be planning some retaliatory moves. Get 'em, Ashley!

katie b said...

Are you sure these neighbors aren't crazy? I'm all for Mr. Ashley going over there are addressing the issue, but there are a lot of crazy people out there...you never know what they'll do!

We in Minnesota said...

Make sure your husband starts his conversation with the poop neighbor VERY calmly. That way, when the police are called, he can VERY calmly state what has been happening. Police don't like the crazy, screaming, seem-like-nutjob-people. They want calm.

Maybe a really big concrete fence that has barbed wire and glass stuck into the top of it will work as a barrier.

Or you could make chocolate chip cookies - sans laxative- to make up for any imagined mistakes the poop neighbors "believe" you have made.

Lisa Amott

Jamie said...

You have got to update this ASAP! I cannot wait to hear the outcome!!
I would be so beyond pissed those dumbshit neighbors :D

aprilmom said...

i wouldnt take that crap either!!!

(sorry!lol)

get em back, karma takes too damn long

Head Nut said...

holy SHIT!! I would be livid!!! I probably would have went over there myself but I'm a hot head. Or I would have launched it back into their yard.......on fire. Assholes.

Former Fat Chick said...

oh lord....you may become The Hatflields vs. The McCoy's!

Marla said...

this is my first visit... and damn you make poop funny... i first thought you were talking about poop bomb at your door... good luck with the turds!!!

Ms. Attitude said...

Such jerks! I would be so pissed off!

Ashley said...

Head Nut, this morning, I was livid. The first time it happened, I was shocked but felt a little guilty, like my dogs were to blame. But this time I was furious.

Like I said, I had to march out there in the rain to confirm what it was because I was in such disbelief. I did briefly consider getting the kids dressed and going right over there while my blood was still pounding, but realistically--Mr. Ashley is the guy to handle it (plus it was 7:45 a.m.).

Mr. Ashley is calm and charming, calls people sir and ma'am, has a big grin and seems friendly and reasonable, but if someone gives him unnecessary attitude, he puffs up to 3x the size and is instantly frightening.

In a situation like this, I would be angry and nervous and come off like a bitch from the get-go but would probably cry if they were aggressive or mean to me.

So, there's always the chance the situation will be resolved up front, although this is a tough situation to resolve.

Jennifer, we have a potato cannon (it was a gift, it goes unused) and I think that would be optimal for cat turd launching. Some sort of catapult could also work.