Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Little Pimp

So, on my birthday (thanks, btw, to the 29 of you who voted--the other 900+ of you suck) we took the boys to Party City to get little kid's Batman costume. Big Kid was set on being an astronaut and I wasn't sure we'd find his costume there, but I thought little kid's would be easy. Turns out he wants to be the gray/blue cartoon version of Batman with muscles, not the Dark Knight version or anything without muscles, and they didn't have that in his size.

But suddenly Big Kid piped up, "I found what I want to be! Mom, come look, come look! I'm gonna be a magic guy! Come see, it's so cool!"

"I thought you were going to be an astronaut? I already ordered an astronaut helmet."

"Mom, please look, please! I've got to be dis! It's da greatest costume I ever seen!"

So I came to the wall and scanned the pictures he was looking at. "What magic costume? I don't see a magician. You mean the vampire?"

"No--THIS!"

"A...mack daddy...?" It was a pimp suit. Big Kid wanted a pimp suit! "This is not a magician, sorry. We could make the coolest magician costume though! I'll get you a top hat and you have your Webkinz bunny and we'll get a cape..."

"Mom, no! I want to wear dis outfit! Please, please let me get this one. Pleeeeeeeeease," he begged.

"Um...this one isn't appropriate. Pick anything else, I'll even buy all of the accessories of anything else."

"Not appropriate?! What're you talkin' 'bout? It's a guy in a cool suit? How is dat not appropriate?"

"I think...he's a bad guy. Maybe he did bad things to get that nice suit and the money he's holding and that big $ sign necklace..."

"Dat is crazy! What kind of bad fings would he do? It's dest a guy in a cool outfit wif some money and jewry! Look at his hat! I want it so bad, mom. I would look so good. I'll use my own money, please mom. I won't be him, I'll be me in dat fancy suit!"

"Eh. Hmmm. Maybe it's not in your size?"

"I'll try it on. Please let me! Please! I'll love it so much."

And you know...to Big Kid it is just an awesome suit with leopard print lapels and a fancy hat. I could either attempt to explain pimps, gangsters and drug dealers to my innocent 6 year old, be the Halloween grinch, or get weird looks from my neighbors. He looked at me hopefully.

"Let's get the suit, Mack Daddy. But I think you'll need a mustache."

And Mr. Ashley and I will need full face masks...because our 6-year-old is dressing up LIKE A PIMP for Halloween, and I'm pretty sure good parents wouldn't allow that.

But he is so excited to wear that snazzy suit!

22 comments:

Mom2Gizmo said...

O...M...G...
You are a COOLER Mom than I am apparently because I would have just stuck to NO without explanation...
But you are right...he will feel good and he will have no idea...
Until he is 25 and looks at pictures and says, "MOM...you let me be a PIMP for Halloween?!" Oh the therapy...LOL

LceeL said...

Oh, man. I can just see him stylin'. You absolutely HAVE to teach him THE WALK. I would LOVE to see the neighbors faces.

Caren said...

HILARIOUS and it would be really easy for you to come up with a costume to go with his if you want to dress up too! My son wants to be Dan from Bakugan but has informed me that the costume in the catalog isn't good enough and that I'll do a much better job of making him one.

Lin said...

lol...awesome!

He's already big pimpin' with all the lil' chickies at school so this fits perfectly. Play on playa playa ;)

He's gonna look so adorable!

Amandie said...

It would be even cooler if you had him wear a large clock necklace with his pimp suit and told him to walk around yelling "Flava Flav!!" And I think the fact that I just thought of that means that I should never have children. You sound like a pretty awesome mom though!

Ashley said...

He wants Mr. Ashley to be a mack daddy too and suggested that I be a mack mommy. Can you even imagine??

It did make Mr. Ashley and I reminisce on our pimp and ho costumes for Fantasy Fest in Key West. They were custom made from swirled velvet upholstery--his was lowrider bell bottoms and a vest with no shirt and mine was a mini-mini dress with hooker heels in the same material. I've got to find those pics and scan them all for you!! Good times and we looked awesome.

Mr. Ashley and I have always joked that Big Kid's pimp hand was strong, I guess we deserve this. ;-)

Former Fat Chick said...

Go for it cool mama, it;s not your FAULT...who the fuck makes a size 6X PIMP COSTUME!!!

Ashley said...

Flava Flav is not a bad idea! That's better than a generic pimp, right? (Is it?) I was considering a "Hello my name is...Mack Daddy" name tag to clear things up a little.

and yes, who the fuck makes a size 6 pimp costume?? This is THEIR fault.

MzLiz said...

You definitely should dig out your pimp and ho costumes for when you take the kids trick-or-treating.
And you must take pictures!

Ashley said...

0% chance of either one of us fitting into those costumes now, unfortunately! I could possibly wear the dress as a leg warmer ;-)

Lora said...

oh yes. This is awesome.
I wish you lived in my neighborhood, because I'd give you double candy.

Brooke said...

love LOVE love it!! so much more awesome than an astronaut! go BK! way to curve-ball mom & dad! :)

PS - i appreciate middle-of-the-day blogs, because it makes my work day better! :)

Mom2Gizmo said...

Good question...why IS there a costume like this in such a size!? What does the packaging say it is called?!
(Flava FLAV! crackin me up...)

Ashley said...

The package calls it a "Mac Daddy" costume, which is weird.

Brooke, I'm trying to get back to blogging throughout the day. I agree it's more fun. :-)

Jennifer said...

OMGosh. Seriously. I think you are the bestest, coolest mom ever. I think that is awesome. I'm not sure I would have the balls/nerves to let my daughter go as a hooker because she thought it was a cool outfit. I think it is great.

Ashley said...

No way would I allow a hooker costume, so total double standard there. At least I can pretend he's a rap star or a ladies man or something. There's got to be something.

p jane said...

OMG, that's awesome! Hey, didn't Tim Meadows make a(n awful) movie called "Ladies' Man"? (I seem to remember the infamous line, "Say, sweet thing, can I buy you a fish sandwich?")

Hey, at least he KNOWS what he wants to be and there's a costume for it. One son wants to be MegaMan, one wants to be SpidermanBuzzLightyear "with a cape!" and one has no idea.

Jeanette said...

I can't wait for the pictures! BK is just too funny, but I agree, why ruin his innocence?!?!

My3grcs said...

Try this link for little kids batman costume.

http://www.buycostumes.com/Batman-Brave-Bold-Deluxe-M-C-Batman-Toddler-Child-Costume/60908/ProductDetail.aspx

Mommy Wis(h)dom said...

LOL...I like the way that kid thinks!! : )

Life, Love And Lola said...

LMAO! You'll be an ever cooler mom if you get him some gold teeth and some 10 karat CZ's for him to clip on his ears!!

Things I May Regret Writing said...

Coolest. Mom. Ever. If anyone asks, you tell them Malcolm X was a pimp, too, and you have only high aspirations for your son.