Friday, August 3, 2007

Say Cheese Damnit!

Today we went to FINALLY get our long awaited family portraits done.

Let me begin by saying that the photographer was my engagement and wedding photographer and did a phenomenal (and EXPENSIVE) job. We had one failed attempt at getting pics of both boys a few months ago and this was our re-shoot.

Let me also say that my family looked adorable in our jeans and white button down shirts with the sleeves rolled up and then with my boys in their blue madras shorts (for the Big Kid) and matching overalls (for the little kid) with matching polo shirts, Mr. Ashley in a light blue work shirt and khakis and myself in a pretty darker blue shirt and khaki capris.

Now let me say how highly irritated I was/am about the whole thing. First of all, the a/c was barely on. I bet it was 85 degrees in there. It was so unbelievably hot for my poor family in our jeans and crisp white shirts. I could feel my hair frizzing and I could feel the beads of sweat on my upper lip and I just know I was shiny.

Secondly (and worst of all), her dog was there the whole time. I don't hate dogs (but some people do) but in most situations, I think they have NO PLACE at any kind of work place where they may be (almost always are) a distraction. And a distraction he was. Neither kid could take their eyes off of the dog or it's ball, the ball rolled into several shots, the dog walked into several shots, the dog was busy hitting her in the face with it's tail during several shots, the dog was licking the clean faces of my hot children. At one point she actually had to leave the camera, with all of us sitting in front of it calmly and smiling (one of the few instances, the little kid is no model and spent most of the shoot arching his back, clawing his face and shrieking), to retrieve the ball from under the couch. For Christ's sake, lady.

She then told me she could not put the dog outside because of the lawn crew being present and she couldn't take him back into her house (her studio is another building on her property) because he would cry the whole time.

You know what? I don't give a fuck if he cries. I'm going to cry if these photos don't turn out nicely. The little kid is crying because he wants to roll the ball. The Big Kid is about to cry because I am squeezing his arm and hissing "LOOK AT THE CAMERA" in his ear every time I catch him looking at the dog.

I don't know, between the heat, the sweat, the crying, the stupid fucking dog and the frustration of knowing she is not getting the shots I want, I'm thinking that I may not have been looking my prettiest (although I was when I left my house damn it!)

The photos should be true to life though, the little kid shrieking, the Big Kid disobeying, me hissing through clenched teeth, Mr. Ashley looking tired and perplexed by the unprofessionalism of the situation. It's just not exactly what I was looking for. I was hoping for something that didn't represent us quite so accurately. I wish I could have used the $300 gift certificate to rent her studio for the hour and take my own damn photographs.

So tonight LK and crew are coming over and my house is totally destroyed, even more so than usual because it is Crazy Birthday Party Planning Central. I was making fish in a bag soaps last night for prizes and my kitchen is covered in hardened soap. So the kitchen is dirty but technically clean. Dishes are stacked up, clothes are on the couch, dog hair tumble weeds on the floor. I talked to LK earlier and explained that it was so gross I didn't even want to hang out here and that I would clean it up just enough to get it back to "messy" and call it quits. so she'd best be prepared.

The best kind of friend is one I can be my messy self in front of. After this afternoon, I deserve some relaxation, entertainment and good company (messy house or not).


tommie said...

ooohh, sounds like you were at the new born shots of my son with me and hubby....I think photog's studios should be ice cold!

Deb said...

Even as a passionate dog owner, I completely agree that it's unprofessional to bring your dog to work. But I'd pay cash to see those "true to life" family photos of yours, because I bet they are a RIOT.

Unknown said...

How much cash?

Deb said...

What would it take?

Cake said...

I'd chip in...

Seriously, my sympathies, that is how EVERY ONE of my family portrait sessions has been. I have Xmas pics of my ds with tears in his eyes because the ho keep taking toys away from him. EYEROLL It's no wonder there are no pictures on my walls.