Customized Kids

So some days I wonder, Why did I have kids? And then I remember, because baby stuff is so much fun to buy!! The choices are endless, you can buy anything to make parenting easier these days (except something to hold penises and wipe butts, but I'm sure someone's working on that). There are so many cute kid's stores, so many cute kid's clothes. Isn't it our job as mothers to make sure our kids are cuter than everyone else's? Dressed nicer? Sure you haven't brushed your teeth in two days and you're wearing maternity jeans but damn it, these kids need to look good!! Things I love:



Baby legs! I think they are so cute! Think leg warmers for babies. They have tons of different colors and patterns and are so freaking cute under a skirt or dress I can't stand it. I think they are also adorable on my little kid's chubby legs but my husband thinks they are gay, so we only have one pair. I assure you, they are not gay. What's gay about leg warmers? Well, for babies I mean. And if they are gay, what's wrong with that? They're cute and you only get to dictate clothing choices for so long. At $12 or so, I think they're a bargain too. http://www.babylegs.net/shop/



Diapees and Wipees cases! These give me the appearance of being organized. Mine holds 2-3 diapers and a travel sized thing of wipes and is so much nicer to pull out of my bag than a handful of wrinkly, balled up diapers that have only surfaced after pulling 90lbs of other crap out of my bag to find them. Other moms always ask me about it. I suspect they're jealous and they covet my diapee case but everyone can have one for the mere $15 price tag: http://www.diapeesandwipees.com/html/products.html. This item is technically for you and NOT for those damn kids so buy yourself one and enjoy it! Feel slightly cuter when preparing for a public diaper change, you deserve it!


Small Paul Clothing line! I love all things Paul Frank. Julius the monkey is a beloved friend around here. As a matter of fact, my dear husband let the big kid pig out on chocolate icecream in his julius shirt and did not take proper pre-treating measures. This entry has reminded me that he has yet to make it up to me and the big kid and he will be purchasing a new Julius shirt and that Yo. shirt ASAP. Pronto mister, don't make me tell you twice! Plus, that shirt was a souvenir from a Key West vacation, so we'll have to go back for another one. I also love appaman stuff, but it is muy expensivo. I have found a few appaman lookalikes at Target and that will tide me over until I'm making Brangelina kind of money. This stuff came from http://www.smallconcept.com. I also like to search ebay for the $$ clothes, because at heart I really am a cheap ass. I just have expensive taste.

Tu-tus!! Be still my beating heart...I love tu-tus so much that I have even considered having yet another damn kid just on the off chance I'd get a girl to put a tu-tu on. But we all know I'd have a third boy and a lifetime's worth of arguments with Mr. Ashley as to whether or not wearing a tu-tu would have a negative impact on a male child (I believe it would not). Regardless, every girl child from 3 to 13 should own one. The tutu shown is from an etsy shop called Ruby & Myrtle: http://http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5020518. Rumor has it that you can make these yourself with no sewing ability, but I'm pretty lazy and would somehow make a mess of such an endeavor. If you think you can, google "no sew tutu" or something and get to it! Think of the photos!! That's another reason I had kids, all of the great photo opportunities. That is, if you think the big kid baring his teeth and squinting his eyes while lunging towards the camera in order to see himself on the LCD screen is a great photo opportunity.

Okay, enough of this for today. Have fun customizing your kiddos, do it before they are 13 and wanting to dye their hair purple and paint their fingernails black.