So the Woman I Want to Be is excellent with correspondence. Correspondence is actually more than just buying lots of stationary, I guess you're supposed to write on it and send it out, thus keeping in touch with loved ones. But where to find some loved ones? I don't know about you guys, but some days it's easy to find unloved ones or "not loved so much right now" ones. So drop them a line, let them know you haven't forgotten what a pain in the ass they are.
I love the card featured above. If the little one could read, I'd probably send that to him (kidding!! With the cost of postage these days, forgetaboutit). When the big one was born and the nurse was bathing him for the first time, he was crying and she told him life was a bitch. It's a good thing she had cool parents in the room that agree that life is a bitch, because that kind of talk would not fly with a lot of first time parents. He learned young, but the little one still seems clueless about it all. Anyway, pick up this little beauty, along with several other cards of questionable humor at the Cuckoobrains etsy shop http://http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=32626
Carolee Designs at Etsy http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5070142 makes it easy to tell people how you really feel with her "hate mail" line of cards. I am particularly fond of this "sucks to be you" card, which is one of my favorite sentiments of sympathy. She also has gems such as: We'll look back on this one day & I'll tell you I told you so, Bitch, Good luck with that, If I were in your shoes I'd cry too, What were you thinking, and No returns (perfect for a baby or wedding announcement!).
I love these cards for all occasions from Oplusd http://www.oplusd.com/greetingcards/funnyfaces.html
I actually ordered the one shown here for a friend and it was good quality and said something cute on the back too. I can't remember what it said, or even an approximate version, because having children killed all of my brain cells. Drugs don't kill brain cells, children do. Anyway, I will definitely be ordering more of these in the future.
So let's all go find our favorite pen, a card and envelope, a return address label (a cute one, not one of those cheap ass freebie charity ones. We are cheap asses, but we are customized cheap asses. I get the family caricature ones from http://www.vistaprint.com), a .39 cent stamp and then a .02 cent stamp and...damn that's a lot of work. Or just promise yourself you'll drop an email instead and enjoy a cool beverage. Either one is fine really, it's up to you.