Back to Reality

Gosh do I miss you all!! Damn. This whole "Party Extravaganza" thing was super fun to plan and make lists for, but is kind of stressful to pull together. The party is tomorrow and then I am all yours again.

Our trip was awesome, I wish I was still there. The Big Kid and little kid both adore The Renee's herd of kids. The little kid really showed his true colors, now The Renee really knows the extent of his evildoing. Mischievous is the perfect (nice) word to describe him. Her littlest kid had been there two weeks and had not yet discovered the allure of cleaning fluids, the joy of unrolling toilet paper, pulling trash bags out of boxes, playing with grocery bags, getting into the garbage, putting things in electrical sockets, reconfiguring the tv and vcr, playing in the toilet, throwing sand, etc. My little kid opened up a whole new world for him (sorry about that The Renee). The kid just does not play with toys, EVER and is also constantly seeking danger and new ways to make me get up and chase him around.

The Renee and I would sit on the kitchen floor in the morning drinking our coffee and letting the babies play with plastic grocery bags because it was one of the safer activities the little kid enjoyed. He wore me out and had me up every morning at 6:45am, which was slightly more tolerable with an ocean view but not much. I thought for sure that maybe I could borrow the nanny and take a nap at some point but the nanny is a big napper herself and was actually napping IN MY ROOM, right next to the little kid in his crib, when I went in to take a nap after finally getting my kids to sleep. With the tv on. As a matter of fact, every time I'd put him down for a nap she'd find a reason to go in his room and make a bunch of noise, I was about to lose it on her. The Renee and I have determined that she's pretty much useless. The Renee was getting her old nanny back (whom we both love) the day after I left and I'm glad she's getting rid of the skimpy-suited brainless wonder.

We played in the pool a lot and the Big Kid is really doing awesome with his swimming. He was even swimming underwater a bit with no floaties. At one point he jumped out of the pool, ran to the deep end and jumped in, sinking to the bottom like a rock while I was in the shallow end with the little kid in my arms. The Renee's biggest kid was trying to reach in to pull him up by his hair while the brainless wonder stood and watched him drown because she doesn't swim when she has her period. So I got to the deep end, swimming with one arm and trying not to drown the little kid and rescued him while she looked on from her dry poolside area. Fucktard.

I wish I could recreate the look on people's faces when we would tromp into the pool area, with our baby rafts, diving rings, 900 kids, wacky noodles and a stray hanger that The Renee's 3rd kid has an attachment to. People were scared, and they were right to feel that way.

We also lounged on the beach, went down to the nearby pier for a sunset party, went on a nature walk, and walked down the beach to a local restaurant for some Cuban sandwiches and ice cream cones. Some freak there told me my boys had beautiful eyes and asked me to stop by his place (the one with the red van in front of it) to show them to his wife. Um, no. The Renee has now witnessed TWO weirdo confrontations and can vouch that I do nothing to encourage this wackiness.

The most fun was just lounging around the condo. It is amazing to me that I met someone online a little over a year ago and now feel totally comfortable digging through her fridge, laying on her couch, talking for hours on end and not feeling awkward during pauses in the conversation. I'm a lucky girl!

Not so lucky with all the party shit I have to do today. I have NO BUSINESS even talking to you all. I'd post my to do list but I'm scared to even look at it. Heaven help us.