Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Ashley on Ice

I've been running around like a crazy person and I'm pretty sure I'm getting sick. I'm drinking Airborne like it's going out of style, but I fear between airplanes and cold weather, it's going to be one heck of a battle.

Tomorrow night I'll be in NY. My cousin's big day is Saturday. It's at a gorgeous location in a neat town. I'd give more details but some of you are psychotic, so it'll have to wait until the affair is over.

I'm super excited about it though. This is my favorite and funnest cousin (I do think funnest is a word, thanks) and it's not one of those weddings where family is placing bets on how long it will last. It will truly be a celebrated occasion and will definitely be fun.

All that being's going to be freaking cold. You all know how I feel about the cold. Not good.

I've been thinking about it and researching and asking people and I can't figure out for the life of me how people manage to look cute in the cold. Do they just suffer? Or is there a secret to being warm PLUS being cute? I don't know, I can't figure it out.

I'll be wearing this (but in copper):

ha ha ha, so yeah, I'll be cold. I'll probably be wearing it, a trench coat, leggings, jeans, mittens, two scarves and knee socks by the time it's all said and done. I'm not sure what jewelry I'm wearing yet, because I'm accessory retarded, so I just bought a bunch of stuff from Target and will return what I don't use. Sort of like how celebs borrow jewelry for Oscar night? Same sort of thing. I also need to research how to wear a pashmina the fancy, sophisticated way. It doesn't look difficult but I'll bet I screw it up, being accessorily challenged like I am.

You know what is weird? My cousin told all kinds of people about the Closet and some of those people will be at the wedding. Now they'll notice me by my dress and how cold I am and how poorly I accessorize. How awkward is that?

Let's go over some ground rules for meeting Ashley in person at this wedding, just in case you're one of those people, since we have not encountered that in a Closet related capacity yet ('cept for Mitch, but she doesn't count because I felt like I knew her):

1. Do not, DO NOT, tell my aunt about the Closet. My aunt is a classy lady (with a c, not even a k, no emphasis on ass). She's actually a lot of fun and very cool, but I just think it's best not to go there. As a matter of fact, don't tell anyone about the Closet and don't speak about it amongst yourselves or to me. I actually don't want my other uncle of his wife knowing either, so let's just skip it altogether. If you feel compelled to mention it, maybe we need a code like "is it cold enough for you?" or an ear tug or something. I don't know, we'll brainstorm on it.

2. Don't be observing me for signs of coldness or accessory retardation. I know, it's going to be tempting now that I've put it out there, that's why the whole thing is a little weird. If it appears as if I'm wearing a pashmina completely incorrectly, just assume that's my own special flare. Just try not to stare, I *will* be on the lookout for staring.

3. If there is any drunken dancing or other shenanigans going on--we keep them amongst ourselves. What happens at the wedding stays at the wedding (unless I choose to blog about it. Sorry, I get to make the rules).

4. Don't expect this super loud mouthed, opinionated, vivacious, open and honest person. It could happen (especially after a few drinks), it's not that far of a stretch, but if someone starts talking about how they just adore Sarah Palin, don't be surprised at my ability to behave myself. I'm actually quite normal, or able to appear that way.

That's all I can think of for now, I am pretty tired. The main two points are what happens in the Closet stays in the Closet and what happens at the Wedding stays at the Wedding. mmmmmmmmkay?

I'll be working and traveling tomorrow, so you all may or may not hear from me. Catfish's comment about if you guys were my chickens I would've posted already today (sellout) wins funniest comment of the day award, prize is being my bestfriend for life. Wish me warmness and good health, I'll talk to you soon.


Britt said...

Your secret signal should be the passing of gold coins for BK's next tooth.

Travel safe.

Melanie Sheridan said...

Shoot, so surprised to be first I forgot what I was going to say!

Melanie Sheridan said...

And now I'm embarrassed because I'm probably not first. Cute dress!

Melodie said...

Yeah, you're gonna be COLD. And not just because you're dressed inappropriately, either. People who actually live up north, have thicker blood and stuff to protect them from the cold. We Floridians do not, and will therefore be colder than a northerner wearing the exact same thing. Sorry.
Have fun and try not to get too sick.

Mitch said...

Wishing you warmth! Maybe it'll be a warm fall day up there, like Indian summer?

And I can vouch for her normalness and the ability to behave. But then I haven't seen her drunk (yet).

Anonymous said...

Have FUN! Sounds like it's going to be a great time! Congrats to your cousin and her soon-to-be husband. My tip to keep warm...drink alcohol...of course, that may cause other problems, but what the hey--it's a wedding! :)

As for feeling sick...push as much non-caffeinated fluids as you can stand, rest as much as possible (HA!) and add some vitamin B12 or B-complex to your daily routine.

Piece o' Coconut Cake said...

Cute dress, you'll look great. Wear silver, nice contrast with the copper. Have fun and I cant wait to read about the "drunken shenanigans"!

Kimmguru said...

I wish I were invited to the wedding!!! Sounds like a lot of fun awkwardness....which is always the best kind, IMO!

Feel better soon!

Joy said...

I really wish it was a small world and somehow I knew your cousin and would also be attending this wedding:)

I would promise to keep the closet to myself and just do an eartug or something to let you know that I know;)

Have fun and Stay warm.

ralph and martha said...

have a blast! expect cold here in the north. my best suggestion is to just have a cocktail, you won't feel the cold, and just look awesome! expect static, so bring static guard or tuck a little lotion in your bag to put on your legs (over the hose!!) to prevent the static.

Anonymous said...

Have fun! And make Mr. Ashley wear a suit coat, that way you can steal if from him to keep warm. We can't have you getting sick now can we??

Maddness of Me said...

You won't come across a whole lotta Palin lovers in New York. Most folks there are still in mourning for Hillary.

I'm sitting here in Michigan (same weather as New York here in Southeast MI), lived here all my life (except for a year in Texas), and I am cold this week. It came fast. Sorry. It sounds like you are mentally prepared for it. Try to get dropped off at the door as much as possible.

If you see a fireplace on, go sit on it :)

I could give a crap less about the cold when it comes to wearing a dress as cute as that one you got. It sounds like you've got it all covered, except a long pretty sweater would be nice but I'm sure you don't have one. I would send you mine but, short notice and all ;)

That dress is screaming for long beads.

Do you have dressy boots? That dress could use some dressy boots.

A coupla tricks I use... a scarf, and sometimes a knitted hat. The hat hair thing isn't an issue for me as anything I can do to get my hair less HUGE is a plus. A nice soft scarf always keeps me warm, even if I don't have a coat on, like inside a cold building.

Hot drinks. Order lots of hot drinks. Hot totties - even better! And soup.

ps: I hate to see you in an awkward position lately because of your blog. Don't go changing or anything!

Julie H said...

I'm in CA and I'd probably be cold in that dress ;o) Have fun!

Unknown said...

Cute dress! I wish I could wear something like that but I would look like a fat little 12 year old trying to look like an adult. sigh. I can't wear anything sexy, it just doesnt fit.

Good luck and take a scarf!

Anonymous said...

Instead of passing the coins for BK's tooth, you can pass a hat for insurance premiums !! There you go... problem solved.

Former Fat Chick said...

ZICAM!!! That stuff is a MIRACLE! Please drink way too much and then just let some one HAVE it if they love Palin! please, please, please! that sounds like so much fun!

Anonymous said...

You've just received the Uber Amazing Blog Award!!

Anonymous said...

Dude...I want to win something else, I'm already you bestfriend for life...this sucks. Like I said, total sell-out.
buccaaaa BUcaaa! (that's chicken talk)or peeep peee pee peeep

KatBouska said...

New York. Check.

Saturday night. Check.

Copper dress. Check.

I am SO coming to find you Ashley. How many wedding could their possibly be in New York this Saturday. I'm shuttin' that joint DOWN! Let's do this.

Anonymous said...

I love that dress! Where did you get it? I still have plenty of time to wear it in Florida before it gets cold. I love the blog too!

Anonymous said...

Never mind where you got the dress from! LOL!! You can tell I'm new at this.

Anonymous said...

hot toddies and Irish Coffee are your friends.
Warm wishes! Being from CO, I have been declimatized and am now freezing in the mornings.

Anonymous said...

Have fun in NY.. we had our first snow on Tuesday. GAH!!!!

Renee said...

I hope you're having a great time! The dress is amazing; I'm sure you'll look fantastic as you stand there shivering. :) Keep dancing and drinking.

-The Renee

Life, Love And Lola said...

That dress rocks!

Missives From Suburbia said...

Love the dress. Dressing cute in the winter? Well, I've only been in Minnesota for two years, but I have two tips:

1. Wear fur

2. Give up

I know. Depressing, isn't it?