Sunday, October 12, 2008

Tattle Tale

I had my very first teacher's conference with Big Kid's teacher the other day.

Her and I sat and talked as little kid ran around the room like a shrieking banshee. She basically told me what I already know, that he's amazing and brilliant. She didn't use those words and tried to downplay the whole "genius" thing, but whatever, we all know.

We attempted a serious meeting while little kid erased her white boards, ran around the room with white board markers and attempted to leave the room several times. It was hard to maintain concentration with me having to get up and snatch him up every three minutes, but we tried, sitting there in our little chairs.

Finally, she wraps things up and asks if I have any questions. "How's he doing social--"

Teacher: He's a total tattletale (rushed out, obviously relieved that I asked)

Ashley: (laughing too hard to talk) This is no surprise.

Teacher: I try to get them to talk it out, use their words, get it taken care of, but he wants to tell me no matter what. He also wants to tell me about things that he's not even involved in.

Ashley: (still laughing)....yes, this is not a surprise. Ahhh. We will work with him on this, although God knows we've tried. We deal with it at home too. I'm sorry.

Teacher: No, he's really good, he's just---

Ashley: A total control freak. He is Mr. Morals & Safety Patrol and it's his way or the highway. Trust me, we know. He can't be friends with half the class because they get warnings and he doesn't like Juan because he chews with his mouth open. We've been working on minding our own business, but we obviously need to keep working at it.

(at this point I have to tackle little kid to the ground to retrieve a marker)

Teacher: Oh don't worry about it. He's fine, really. (meaning little kid)

Ashley: No really, he's not. He smuggled markers into time out this morning in his pockets and wrote all over himself and his crib. He's on marker restriction. Anyway, I'll work with Big Kid about the tattling.

Later Big Kid and I get in the car and I say, "So Miss D told me that sometimes you're a tattletale."

Big Kid: Yep

Ashley: Yep, you are a tattle tale?

Big Kid: Yes, all da time. I dest tell her when da kids make bad choices.

Ashley: That's none of your business.

Big Kid: Den whose business is it? Someone needs to know dey are makin' bad choices. So I dest tell her.

Ashley: Well, do me a favor and stop telling her. Just worry about Big Kid.

Big Kid: Big Kid dest worries about people's bad choices, okay?


I am a Tornado ~ proven fact! said...

I got one, similar.

I totally love his spirit - yeah, he's not changing his attitude about this whole tattle-tale thing for a while. It's seriously something he is CALLED to do, it's a part of him.

There are worse things he could do.

Maddness of Me said...

How do you tell a 5 year old that he is going to get his ass kicked some day if he doesn't stop?

I have no idea.

does he know what a swirly is?


Melodie said...

LOL!! My oldest was too shy to tattle to the teacher, even when she was the one being touched/teased/copied/etc., but when she came home, she recounted everyone's bad behavior to me.

Kate said...

I LOVE how he managed to turn your words around to still justify the tattling! BK is awesome! I love how he won't associate with the "seedy" element of those who gets warning!

because I said so said...

Big Kid rocks the house. I love his matter-of-factness and the fact that he is the way he is and that's the way it is........

too funny

Amy said...

Oh my God he kills me. It makes perfect sense to him, that's clear. BK for prez.

AFRo said...

I wish more parents taught their children that the actions they take are a result of their own choices. I think it's wonderful that BK understands that... we did not start preaching this to our boys until recently.

I have a good story on this, I'll try to keep it short: Mr. AFRo's boss got a call from the school last year. (His son is in high school) The teacher called because she said that the child had smarted off to her in class. So, Boss says, what did he say?

Teacher says that she caught him doing something wrong and asked him why he did it. His response was, "Because I chose to." Teacher considered this to be talking back.
Boss responded with, "So you want me to punish him for being honest and not making excuses for his behavior?"

Maddness of Me said...

It's just part of BK's DNA to stick his neck out for what is right.

On the flip side, there are some parents who think their kids do no wrong, which is the down side to teaching. My sister-in-law is a teacher and this is a big problem for her, no matter how fair she tries to be. I would not want that job for any money.

Cathy said...

Oh, dear god - I was just working on a blog post about this. I can't tell you how often we say "You just worry about you, dear" in a week's time. I feel your pain. And while I'll be glad someday when she's grown, and is asserting her will all over the world, right now it's just irritating and it gets her in trouble. Clearly she gets if from her father.

That's a lie.

Deb said...

I like that he has a moral compass. Someone has to, right? I bet I wouldn't like Juan because of that nasty chewing habit, too.

M said...

Oh the wisdom of Big Kid.

I really don't think you have a chance convincing him otherwise.