Thursday, October 2, 2008

Quiet Entry

I just walked into the house, carrying a sleeping little kid, cringing when opening the door waiting for yapping and barking to commence at the sight of me...and walked into total silence.

The dogs were both there, staring at me, not bothering to get up. They just don't feel the need to herald my arrival as if I was an intruder every time they see me, like Heidi Louise used to.

I fucking hated that she did that. I couldn't go to the mailbox and back without being treated like a terrorist when re-entering the house. But there I was today, putting a still sleeping little kid into his crib, and dripping tears at the lack of commotion.

That was 15 minutes ago and I'm still sitting here wiping away tears. I just can't believe I still miss her this much, even the parts of her that I thought I hated.

:-(

10 comments:

Melodie said...

Oh, Ashley! You made me cry, too. I know her absense has gotten easier to handle, but you'll never truly be over her loss. I'm so sorry.

Preppy Pettit said...

Oh, I am so sorry!

Stacy said...

Sorry for your loss. :(

Mekhismom said...

Oh, I am sorry Ashley!

Me said...

Yep. I can't believe I miss having cat claw marks on my wood tables.

Now, I find something that he scratched, and I put it away to save it. And cry.

It sucks. They are such creatures of habit that I am actually haunted by memories, good and bad. It took a good two years before I could even smile at the good memories.

Theresa said...

My dog does that too, and it drives me crazy, but I know I will totally miss her when she's not there to bark at me. Sorry yours isn't there to wake up Little Kid.

Liza said...

It used to drive me crazy when my old dog jumped all over me every time I walked into the house, but now that she's gone, I do miss it. HUGS.

Mom2Gizmo said...

I just found this blog around the time that happened and it broke my heart! I'm so sorry for you!

Piece o' Coconut Cake said...

:-( I posted about my puppies today so I'm especially sensitive about that. Mine got me through 5 miscarriages. Really. More so in a way than my husband. Really. I can't imagine what it will be like when they're no longer here puking on my floors or trying to eat my neighbors. They truly are my babies. Or at least my firstborns!

AJ said...

Again, way past due...

I'm sorry about your dog. It's so hard to let one go. They just really get right into your life and then when they're gone... they're fucking GONE and you miss everything that annoyed you about them when they were with you.