Sunday, November 2, 2008

That's Right, Bitch

Mr. Ashley: No, little kid, you didn't eat any dinner, you don't get sherbert.

little kid: Waaaaaaah, waaaaaaaah. Noooooooooooo.

Big Kid: Dat's right, bitz. No serbert for you.

(Mr. Ashley and I look at each other in unbelieving shock and horror)

Mr. Ashley: What did you say, Big Kid?

Big Kid: I said, 'Dat's right, bitz, no serbert for you!'

Mr. Ashley: Bits? With an 's' on the end?

Big Kid: No, a "c-h" blend on the end. Phonogram would be "Ca, cee, Cha" (with accompanying hand movements) Bitz. Kinda like "betcha" but no "ah" at the end and an "i" instead of an "e".

(Me trying not to laugh, Mr. Ashley still in complete shock and horror)

Mr. Ashley: Don't ever say that again.

Big Kid: What, bitz? I can't call him a bitz? It's dest like "betcha".

Mr. Ashley: No, no, you can't. Don't ever say it again...(to me) Stop laughing and don't you dare write about this.

23 comments:

josie said...

lay that smack down, BK! i am cracking up!

Kira said...

OMG LMAO!!! Where on earth did he pick that up???

Preppy Pettit said...

Way too funny!

Paige said...

There has to be something wrong with me but that cussing kids is one of my very favorite things EVER to read about

Melodie said...

LMAO!!! I thought my Katie was the only foul mouthed-kid around. When she gets pissed, she starts yelling, "Damn it!"

Ami said...

LOL! Love it! "dest like betcha!" He's great!

Rachel said...

OMG! My favorite kid stories! Hehe. I love telling about the time my now 6 year old--who was 3 at the time called someone a "fucking freak" thankfully not to their face, I about died....from laughing. Is that wrong? hehe
For what it's worth it's um NOT something we say here, or at least we thought??! who knows.

Jess said...

Classic!

My 2-year old is really into destroying my house right now and I was surveying my semi-new furniture and noticed some new spots that had to be his handiwork and said 'effin couch (censored here) only for my 2-year old to look up at me and agree by saying yeah, effin couch!

Guess who is never saying the eff word in front of the 2-year old again? :)

LMAO!

Undomestic Diva said...

Our kids would get along famously.

Portia said...

That is sooo incredibly funny! I think I'll teach my daughter to say it now!

Under Sundog said...

kids ... you can thank Paris Hilton for the normalization of the B word.

Missives From Suburbia said...

How could you NOT write about that?

Jamie said...

That is just freakin hilarious!

Maggii said...

OMG! Too funny...I love your kids!

Joanne said...

OMG! That is completely hysterical! Such a kid thing to say.... Love it :)

meredith said...

ha!ha! he cracks me up! i need big kid to balance my check book for me. he is obviously smarter than me...this phonogram stuff makes my brain hurt!! wtf?

hippy_at_heart said...

Love it! I've had the privilege of referring to 2 people as "bitzes" today & I think I heard my DH mumble the sentiment under his breath at me earlier. Thanks Big Kid for the new word to add to the family vocabulary.

trashalou said...

You really should write about it.That is v. funny.

Kimberly said...

That's right. These bitzes don't get any icecream if they can't eat their meat.

Cake said...

LMFAO! That's freakin hysterical! But wait...do you really say sherbeRt? Say it isn't so, that's the one thing that could make me love you less ;-) - unless you also say nuke-u-ler.

I'm catching up...Woodstock looks awesome and now I really want to visit there - sounds like my kind of place and I know you know what I mean :-D, your children were ADORABLE on Halloween and Awwwww to Lily and the chicks!

Pamela said...

Hahahaha! You even made my not-so-smiley husband laugh, and that's saying something!

He's also impressed, by the way, by his phonological skills!

katie b said...

Hehehe! Hopefully that was the first time he said it so you nipped it in the bud early - can't have him going to school and calling the teacher a "bitz"!

mommy dearest said...

That is hilarious! My 3yo told my 1yo recently to "Get da fwuck outta my way." I about fell over laughing. How can you not?