Monday, November 17, 2008

Poison Control

This morning little kid walked into the bathroom, took off his pants and diaper, peed in the potty, and came back out with his pants on. I was pretty impressed and figured he was ready to potty train so I'd let him give it a shot.

He did pretty well, jumping up and running to the bathroom when he had to go, no shenanigans, just doing his business and coming right back out. Naturally, I began to let my guard down and started to trust him and his maturity level in the bathroom.

He goes in there again and I hear some rustling around that I figured was him doing his business, then I hear a gasp and a terrible coughing and gagging fit. I jump up and run into the bathroom to see him standing there red eyed, panting and wheezing with a huge slug of snot creeping out of his nose when I'm hit with the sudden, unmistakable smell of bleach.

Unable to believe even he would do something so crazy, I grab his face and smell his breath and yep, it smells like bleach. In a total panic, I run around the house searching for the phone and fling open the cabinet door for the Poison Control sticker I oh-so-carefully applied when Big Kid was first born.

They answered before it even rang and I tearfully announced that my two year old drank bleach, wiping the snot slug away with one hand and thrusting my Coke at him with another while looking around for things I'd probably have to take to the Emergency Room.

"Ma'am, calm down, bleach smells pretty bad. It's unlikely a child would chug it, know what I mean?"

"You don't know this child," I replied panicked.

"Well, what did he drink from?"

Looking around, I saw a spray bottle in the sink and picked it up and smelled bleach. The top was on tightly, so he must have sprayed it into his mouth. I relayed this info.

"See? He couldn't have gotten much. He should be fine," she assured me.

"What if he sprayed it in his eyes? Could he go blind or something?"

"He's what? Two? I think he would be telling you his eyes hurt, rubbing them and screaming or something," she said in a practical manner.

"Oh, that is probably true."

"See? No need to take him to the hospital or anything, just give him a lot to drink, maybe a little lunch, he'll be fine."

"Are you sure? He had a ton of snot coming out of his nose just now. Not a normal amount, even for being sick."

"Yeah...bleach will clear you out like that, I'd think, I personally wouldn't try it. Trust me, go get him lunch and a drink, he's fine."

I was instantly reassured and super appreciative of her calm demeanor...but I did consider lying when she asked for our names. Because there's a good chance this won't be our last call. I'd like to think so, but little kid is full of surprises.

Later on when Big Kid came home, I was telling him about the ordeal and turned to little kid and asked, "What happens when you drink bleach, little kid? Tell Bubba what happens."

"Get Coke," he replied with a smile.

Wrong answer.

So I'm not so sure any lesson was learned. Other than we're (I'm) not ready for potty training. Not yet.


Staci said...

I would have been racing around like a crazy lady... I am embarrassed to admit this, but I have called poison control so much they must be ready to take my kids. What amazes me though is how it seems like they ALWAYS say, oh he'll be okay. Just keep an eye on him for a while, feed him lunch, and offer him lots of drinks. What's up with that?

Anonymous said...

Thank goodness for professionals who are supposed to remain calm and know what to say!!! That is scary!

Im glad he's okay! But ew, that musta tasted so bad!

Julie H said...

I really need to get that number and put it somewhere because I've NEVER had to call. Must mean it's due!

Anonymous said...

Oh wow! I can't imagine how scared you were. My own 2 1/2 year old was recently lost for an hour. It was the most terrifying thing I've ever been through in my life. It really sucks being a mom sometimes.

Kira said...

Oh nooooooooo! Here's hoping the memory of what bleach actually tasted like is enough to scare him out of doing it - even when the lure of coke calls! Lol. BTW, we learned that hand sanitizer will also not kill them. Though it will make them drunk, and they will probably hurl. Just FYI. ;)

Melodie said...

I've often wondered if DCF was going to come knocking on my door over how many times I've called poison control. No suck luck, though. ;)

I have the Poison Control phone number prominently placed on my refrigerator, as well as stored in my cell phone, but since I've called so many times, I've got it memorized, too.

Marie said...

I had to call because mine drank pine sol. I don't think he actually ingested it just put it to his mouth.

It always makes you feel like crap but really it is impossible to watch them every second.

I am glad lk is ok.

The Beach Life said...

I had to call poison control last week. Luckily though it was only for a handful of tums Big Boy helped himself to in my purse.

Thank goodness LK is alright.

Anonymous said...

Ah, poison control, my friends. They always tell me nice things, like "you are not a bad mom" and "your child is going to be okay". I always feel a bit stupid for calling, because everything is always "Just fine". You know, I think it wouldn't be that bad of a job, to sit on the phone and tell parents everything will be okay.

I have learned a few things-

1. Its hard for a 3 year old to overdose on motrin. They'd have to drink a lot.

2. Rhubarb is poisonous, but not as bad as we think. A full-grown adult would have to eat 17 lbs for it to cause serious damage. That's a lot of rhubarb leaves. And, the stuff tastes nasty, so its unlikely anyone would eat the much. A few bites will, at most, cause a tummy ache.

3. Children's vitamins without iron are better for me to have in my house. They aren't damaging. The ONLY time I've had poison control start down the hospital route was when I called for this one. Luckily, I happened to have the ones with vitamin C, not iron. Whew.

4. Dialing one number wrong on the poison control number gets you in contact with a list of phone numbers to call for "adult company in your area".

Stella said...

My evil one decided to figure out how to undo prescription medicine tops when she was 22 months. She took at least 10 Zoloft. The husband was a complete idiot (I mean that in the most respectful way) and didn't know what to do. I was working at least 2 hours away and I had to deal with idiot husband. I called poison control from my cell, husband took kid to ER where my mom was waiting for them and small child got to swallow charcoal. Did you know there is an additive in charcoal that makes you hyper? Great huh, I had a hyper, angry, 22 month old with my idiot husband. I stopped taking zoloft that week.

Joy said...

Thank God I have never had to call, although I also know Tums wont hurt because my friends little boy ate a bunch and she called:)

glad to know he was ok

Theresa said...

Love LK's response! Classic. That would totally happen in our house!

Also, had poop in the bathtub experience. Interesting to see it just come shooting out like a water birth. Yuck.

Anonymous said...

Ok, totally scary and everything, but Little Kid's comment was HILARIOUS! The things they take from a situation, hey?

Glad he's ok, though!

Anonymous said...

The very end of the story made me laugh so much...get coke. Love that he learned his lesson! :)

Ami said...

Oh, so good to know we're not alone. Mine drank Febreeze... while in the care of a sitter, but still.

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad that lk is okay! It's amazing how fast they can get into things... Thank goodness he didn't take a miracle fruit and then drink it. He may have gotten a whole lot more down.

~Gretchen~ said...

1-800-222-1222 is a very well known number in our house

Anonymous said...

Get coke. That is a great one liner! He's a natural for stand-up comedy!

Anonymous said...

Oh that boy is going to drive you to drink!

Amy said...

"get coke"

I'm so LMAO over here! He kills me.

Anonymous said...

I have learned that they have the nicest people working at poison control. Mine drank hydrogen peroxide while I was cleaning her booboo. Ugh!


Jennifer said...

All I can say is, hahahahahahahahha!!!! At least until it happens to me, which I'm sure it will. Then it won't be so funny.

Anonymous said...

Ok so what happens if they drink febreeze?