Because something more important has come up. We'll call it..."Worst Career Move EVER". Technically I'm not even sure what your career is at this point, other than being yourself. I had almost completely forgotten the whole Posh Spice thing. I'll bet you some people didn't even know about that at all and just knew you as the hip and stylish Mrs. Beckham. But then. Then you went and announced that you're doing a SPICE GIRLS REUNION TOUR??? Are you fucking kidding me? Am I on Punked or something? I'm too incredulous to even laugh.
Your husband makes enough money to buy a small country and you're selling your dignity to be a fucking Spice Girl again? A Spice Girl Reunion. Lordy, Lordy. I understand why you did it the first time around. I am all for selling out (anyone interested in asking me to sell out in any way, please don't hesitate) but this is just insane. Fuck women's lib and independence and all of that bullshit, sometimes it is a good thing to be Mrs. Somebody. Definitely good to be Mrs. David Beckham, I should think (and I have thought...oh, how I've thought).
I'm pretty good at predicting celebrity misfortune and embarrassment (I was right on with my Lindsey Lohan, Paris and Britney predictions) and I would be willing to bet big bucks that we're all going to look back on this one day and laugh. Well, you may not laugh. And I'll probably be laughing sooner rather than later. Oh, and your boobs...they are totally and completely ridiculous.