My friend, The Renee, is in town and we spent all day swimming at her rental condo's pool. It was wonderful!! She has the second most gorgeous kids on the planet and they are so well behaved. She also has a nanny! The Big Kid fell totally and madly in love with the nanny, her name is Georgina (which is one of his new favorite words) and she wears brazilian cut bikini bottoms. Yeah, The Renee and I aren't really feeling the brazilian cut bottoms as nanny appropriate attire, but the Big Kid was fascinated.
She would go to rinse off in the pool shower and he would stand there, hands on hips, transfixed. We all watched actually, how could you not watch a half naked person showering 5 feet from you?? The Renee is considering fatter nannies in the future and/or uniforms.
So we swam and swam and then sat under the cheekee hut and chatted while Georgina entertained the kids in the pool. I think the Big Kid learned to swim today trying to impress her. He also wanted her to help him go potty, which really means he's let you into the inner circle, but most people don't appreciate that particular rite of passage and decline participation. Nonetheless, he's excited to see her again tomorrow.
Then I came home to a terrible thunderstorm and had no internet. It was so terrible. Mr. Ashley worked until 8:00pm so I was alone with the kids with no internet. I swear to you, the Big Kid talked from the time he got home (4ish) until he went to bed (10ish). Oh my God. This is his new thing:
Big Kid: Mommy, can you say sun, moon, stars, clouds, planets, space, rocket?
Ashley: Sun, stars, moon
Big Kid: NO!!! NOOOOO!! Mommy, mommy, you say: sun, moon, stars, clouds, planets, space, rocket?
Ashley: I don't want to
Big Kid: I want you to
Big Kid: I want you to, but I want you to, please just say: sun, moon, stars, clouds, planets, space, rocket?
Ashley: sun, moon, stars, planets, clouds, space, rocket
Big Kid: No, no, no, you messed up planets and clouds. It's sposed to be: sun, moon, stars, clouds, planets, space, rocket.
Ashley: Sun, moon, stars, clouds, planets, space, rocket.
Big Kid: Wow, dat was good. Now let's do cat, dog, cow, pig, chicken, goat, mouse, frog
Big Kid: I said yes, cat, dog, cow, pig, chicken, goat, mouse, frog
Ashley: STOP IT. THIS IS CRAZY. I AM NOT DOING THIS ANYMORE.
Big Kid: Dat was rude. You are being a bad gull.
He also told me today that cleaning the house was rude. That is a great way of looking at it.
Then he peed behind the t.v. and wrote all over his belly with pen and then it was bedtime and I thanked the Sweet Baby Jesus, like I do every night. Because although it started off fun, today was a long day. And I'm tired.
Big Kid ought to hook up with my daughter...she likes to use yogurt as lotion and hair conditioner instead of eating it for breakfast. She also tends to order me around...hold me, walk, step up (go up the stairs). I love being a 2 year old's slave. ;)
Love your blog. You crack me up, girl!
I'm very jealous on so many levels. Hi, Renee!!
I like the Big Kids definition of rude. Ask him what he thinks of doing laundry.
My kids keep calling eachother "Bored" and I actually think they believe they are using a bad word. For instance, mini #2 will play with a train that mini #1 likes and mini #1 will respond by saying "You're so BORED! BORED BORED BORED! So there!"
Nice, huh? I could use that nanny if your friend is lending her out.
I would be happy to lend out Georgina, especially on the weekends when my husband is around. I am seriously considering implementing a dress code - khaki shorts (knee-length) and a white polo shirt for around the house, and a red one-piece Speedo for the beach and pool.
Yeah-if I had a nanny, I think I would dress her from the Amish store.
I know your BFF is in town, however you have cyber friends to entertain also. It's been 3 days since you've posted. What the hell? Get your ass busy blogging sista!
I think I peed myself just a little. It is such a relief to know someone else has these insane conversations with their kids. Don't you just start to doubt your own sanity before the day is over?
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