Monday, July 2, 2007

It's Monday Again!

I know, I've been M.I.A. all weekend, I've been busy, busy, busy. Saturday we had a party to go to for the twins. It was fun because:

A.) The Big Kid played outside the whole time and needed very little supervision.
B.) Other people held the little kid for a large percentage of the time
C.) Several likeable adults worth gossiping with were present
D.) Beer (the key to a good kid's party, in my opinion)
E.) Plenty of seating

I got the girl twin a head-to-toe Cinderella outfit, complete with big gorgeous gown and shoes, crown and jewelry. I got the boy twin some stupid boy thing, I don't even know. Spiderman or some such crap.

Sunday we painted the house. Ourselves. Like day laborers. Now before you ask, I used to love painting. I painted our last house twice. As I stood there in the 90 degree heat with my arms aching and sweat pouring into my eyes, I realized that was two kids and twenty pounds ago.

My parents offered us their house boy, Taco (that's not his real name, that's just what they call him because they can't understand his real name. When I pointed out that this didn't seem right, they explained that he likes when my dad buys him Tacos. When I pointed out that maybe that's because he's Mexican, they clarified that he's Honduran and that they're pretty sure he likes being called Taco. Okay then.) The control freak in me could not trust Taco's painting ability and I just knew he would drip. After about an hour of painting in the hot sun, I wouldn't have cared if Taco threw paint on the walls and rolled around on them like Farrah Fawcett in Playboy. That SUCKED, I am NEVER doing it again, and I am NOT planning on helping with the remaining trim, but I do love the color.

Today I had a playdate. The playdate to top all playdates. Remember my girl crush? The one I fell in love with at Tumble Time? She joined my playgroup and had a playdate at her house with MIMOSAS and a MASSAGE THERAPIST. $20 got me 20 child-free minutes of massage. Ahhhh. And Mimosas? Are you kidding me? Do you see why I love her? I'm kind of wishing I had kept her for myself. Other moms are vying for her affection now and I want them to step back. She's mine.

So now I'm home and caught up on my email and I really need to clean up (as usual), but I am a little sore from my massage and I have a slight headache from the morning champagne. Mr. Ashley has no pity for me either and I know not to even suggest that I may need a nap. Did I mention that the playdate was at 9am? This is like 5am to me, absolutely unheard of for me to be anywhere by 9am. The other moms about fell out of their chairs to see me walk in the door and I think it made a huge statement regarding my love for the hostess. So I really, truly do need a nap. Maybe I'll go clean the bedroom and accidentally lay down and fall asleep.....


tommie said...

this is so funny! I have never had mimosas at a playdate, but I could hang with some moms that did!

Burrus Boys said...

I might actually GO to a playdate if it was like this. Instead, I pay for a mother's day out program that provides my son peer interaction twice a week but requires no participation from me other than pick up and drop off. I am SUCH a great mom.

Ms. Skywalker said...

Playdates would have great appeal if I knew they included massages and mimosas instead of the humiliation of crawling up a tube built for toddlers with your ass hanging out for the world to see and chocolate milk to stain the last unstained white shirt that you owned.

So much appeal they would have.

Monogram Momma said...

Thanks for the invite for the playdate. You know, I really could have used a little refreshment.