Get your minds out of the gutter (although I do think she's been hitting on me a little and I'm totally digging that. She's funny AND she has direct access to hot college athletes in tight pants...Definitely real life friend potential there...). I believe I am supposed to list my favorite things!
Just like Oprah (whom I adore with all of my heart). I have so, so, so, so many favorite things it is absolutely ridiculous, so I'll give you the condensed (but most likely still too long) version:
When life hands you lemons...make Lemonade!! I looooooove baths. I take one almost every night, it's really the only way I get reading time (or bathing time for that matter). I got this body wash & shampoo for Christmas and I can barely stop myself from drinking it or licking myself every time I smell it. If I had as much money as Oprah, I'd buy every single one of you a lifetime supply! It is truly delicious and you deserve some. I urge each and every one of you to run, don't walk, run out and buy it for yourself right now. There is always room in the budget for happiness.
While you are in the bathtub, soaking in your sweet smelling bubbles, you will be reading....
The Other Boleyn Girl by Phillipa Gregory
There is a required reading list in order to be my friend (I'll get that to you guys soon so you can start working on it), and this is high on the list. This is what started my almost bizarre interest in all things King Henry the VIII. It is fiction, so don't go thinking you're an expert after reading it, but it was a juicy read that led me to wanting to know more. Reading is essential to my mental health. E-SSEN-TIAL. Right up there with baths.
While you are soaking in your citrus scented water and reading your juicy novel, your hair will be soaking in a luxurious coating of Wen Cleanser & Conditioner!!! (you all scream wildly and jump up and down here) I LOVE this stuff. Please note that LOVE is in capitals AND bold. Because I really love it that much. Generally, with hair stuff I'm a "whatever is reasonably priced" kind of girl. I have curly hair that requires gobs and gobs and gobs of conditioner. If I get a Costco sized shampoo and conditioner, the conditioner will be gone in a month and I'll have the shampoo for a year, no exaggeration.
So when my mom got me this for Christmas, I was excited but pretty sure I wouldn't be able to sustain the new luxury (because Christmas with my mom is a lot like being on an episode of Oprah's Favorite Things). Sure enough, first time I tried it and felt that wonderful tingle on my scalp and how easy my hair was to comb, I rushed to the computer to check the price and realized I had better use it sparingly because there was a good chance this was it until next Christmas. I was super pissed to find the Big Kid pumping out small mountains of it to spread all over the shower walls.
I know sunblock doesn't seem like a luxury or a favorite thing, but after a few boat days of constant whining because of shitty sunblock eating at your kids' eyeballs like muriatic acid...good sunblock is a luxury. (Note to self: Follow through with promise to track down CEO of Coppertone for Kids, coat his hands in his crapola product, rub them all over his eyes and then send him off to play in some sand and water. Fucking bastard). We lather up in this before ever leaving the house and then we re-apply, re-apply, re-apply with Spray Sunscreen, one of the best inventions EVER. It feels refreshing, you don't have to rub sand into your flesh and you can get a moving target, like the Big Kid. Let's face it ladies, our days of baby oil and iodine tanning oil are over. Sunblock is a necessary evil. Let's at least make the transition as painlessly as possible.
After lathering up with sunscreen and slicking your hair back for the boat, it's time to look halfway presentable! Halfway presentable = Neutrogena's tinted moisturizer (probably my favorite beauty product right now, go two shades darker than you think you need) and Mary Kay's waterproof mascara. I've tried lots of waterproof mascaras but really like this one. Nothing pisses me off more than putting on waterproof mascara and then coming home to see that I have had racoon eyes all day. Don't suggest that I skip the mascara either, I feel naked without it, it is non-negotiable.
While cruising around and relaxing, you'll be listening to the Be Good Tanyas. A chaw recommended this to me (the invisible chaw) and the Canadian chaw backed up the recommendation, because I guess these girls come from there. I LOVE THEM. They make me want to dance (and I'm a piss poor dancer). I love "The Littlest Birds" and their "Oh Susanna".
(trying to attach the youtube video, if this works I'll pee my pants with happiness)
Be Good Tanyas. I'll just say, "You're welcome" right now, because I know you'll want to thank me.
After a long day of being out in the sun, there is nothing better than coming home, taking a bath and getting into my Old Navy lounge pants, aka, my uniform for life.
I'm wearing pink ones as I sit here and type this. When life was really good (and by good, I mean when I was pregnant and such a hormonal wreck that Mr. Ashley didn't dare tell me no about anything) I would wash said loungewear in Caldrea Sweet Pea detergent, after pre-treating it with Caldrea Sweet Pea stain remover. Sigh. The good old days. Oh, how good we smelled. Oh, what a joy laundry was to do. Oh, the ridiculousness of paying $16 for a smallish thing of detergent.
I can also attest to the fact that there may be nothing better in the whole wide world than going to bed in freshly washed (in Caldrea, of course) sheets that have been lightly misted with Caldrea's White Tea linen spray. Ahhhhh.
At this point you're probably sick of me and I know this has turned into an epic novel instead of a short list of favorites, but I warned you. Two last quick things:
Capri Blue candles smell seriously, amazingly good. They make the whole house smell good. I love their Gardenia scent (I didn't find it at that store I linked, but I'm too lazy to look far). I think you can get them at Anthropologie.
Coach wristlet Mine is a much cuter patchwork than this one (it matches my purse), but I love the wristlet because it makes it easy to switch everything from purse to diaper bag, or to just run in to a store with it if I don't need the whole diaper bag.
Okay, I'm going to be done now. Please don't forget about products I have mentioned in previous entries. The EMFLTB truly deserves a place on the list but you all know I love that thing.
I'm new to blogging and tagging and whatnot and don't really know the protocol. Am I allowed to tag all bloggers who read my blog? I'm not much for rules and that sounds like the easiest thing to do...so I'm just going to go with that.******
Nars, I'm sure you're noticing that you didn't make the list. You're probably thinking, "What the hell? She has used our products for 6 years now and not even a mention?"
I'm pissed about the eyeliner issue. I like that it comes in a little compact sort of thing and that you apply it with a brush...I DO NOT like that it breaks every freaking time. In a perfect world, eyeliner would never need to travel, but this is not a perfect world. I have tried packing it securely, carrying it in my purse, cushioning it, but no, every time I arrive at my destination I open the little compact and spill black sparkly powder all over myself and wherever I'm staying. It's not cool.
Also, same thing applies for lip gloss. Occasionally it may be left in the car, and when I get back and go to apply it, I don't expect it to have turned into thick globs of pink shiny slime. Maybe you could ask Smashbox how they do it, but something's got to give. Because I do love you. I love your products (most of the time), I love the free samples and I love your friendly sales girls (although frankly, I think that has more to do with my own kick ass personality. I highly doubt the CEO of Nars is encouraging the reps to invite broke SAHMs out to lunch, but I'll give you credit for hiring such nice girls). Shape up and maybe you'll make the next list.
Edited to add: Don't think I haven't noticed the wonky formatting. It is killing me. However, I have already spent two days on this damn post and I really need to just let it go and move forward. Please don't judge me for my spacing issues.