Wednesday, July 4, 2007

Wasted Away Again

in Margaritaville...searching for my lost shaker of salt, WHERE'S THE SALT, WHERE'S THE GOD DAMN SALT?

Kidding (mostly), I'm not (that) drunk. I was saving the majority of my holiday drinking for the party we were supposed to attend tonight, but after a long day of boating and some poopy pants from the Big Kid, we decided to just stay at home and relax.

However, I did not take into account that everyone that lives anywhere near me has not decided to relax, and is not in need of the same quiet calmness that I am. I am over the whole firework thing. OVER IT. Put them away, let's have some quiet time, simma down now. The Gulf was rough today and I still feel like I'm on a rocking boat, I have a post-wine headache and pink cheeks and I just want everyone to settle down. Now. Right this very second. Sirens too, thanks. My headache is the only emergency that needs attention.

Anyhoo, whether it was with saltwater, freshwater, rainwater or firewater, I hope you all had a wet and wild Independence Day and that your asshole neighbors quiet down and go to bed at a decent time. Let's have a moment of silence (or better yet, more than a moment) while I serenade you....

Because I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know Paris is free and I won't forget the paparazzi who took those crying pics for me, and I'll gladly stand up, next to you and mock her still today cause there ain't no doubt that I love celeb gossip....God Bless the USA....

6 comments:

Jennifer said...

"Go get your phone book and look up Donna Summer...that's right Summer Donna...simma-down-nah!"

Thanks for the hilarious serenade:)

Jenn said...

I felt quite unpatriotic last night while I was laying in bed, cursing the crackers with firecrackers still going off at 11:00.

God Bless America and the 'hood in which I live.

Monogram Momma said...

HERE HERE!!!

clemsongirlandthecoach said...

Niiiice! Love the rendition! Sounds like the perfect karaoke song, when you lose the headache!

In the Trenches of Mommyhood said...

Jose Cuervo has become my new Mexican lover.
Gotta love the fun summer drinks!

Deb said...

Flawless.