Sunday, July 15, 2007

A Sunday With the Ashleys

It's Sunday and my family room is filled to capacity with imaginary animals. There is an imaginary giraffe, a hippo, a mouse, a zebra, a monkey, a dog and a cat. I have to caution the giraffe against hitting his head on door frames and fans, I've had to pick up the mouse to rescue it from the hippo stomping it, the monkey is sitting on my lap as I type this and needs frequent petting, the little kid has been screamed at for running into the animals with his walker, and each of them have put in breakfast requests and are worried about which zoopals plate they'll get.

Mr. Ashley thinks we should be putting down imaginary plastic for the imaginary poop and I think I should be finding the nearest possible exit and spending my Sunday at the book store, beach or spa.

While trying to type this, I've been forced to participate in the following annoyingness:

Big Kid: Mommy, which one is your davorite number, 3 or 4
Ashley: Hmm, I think 3.
Big Kid: Why?
Ashley: I just like 3.
Big Kid: Why do you like 3?
Ashley: Because it's round, okay?
Big Kid: Otay. What's the little kid's favorite number 4 or 5?
Ashley: Probably 5
Big Kid: I think 4
Ashley: Okay.
Big Kid: Yes, he likes 4, mommy.
Ashley: Okay, whatever.
Big Kid: What's daddy's davorite number? 2 or 6?
Ashley: I don't know, ask daddy.
Big Kid: The Big Kid is asking you.
Ashley: (pretending I can't hear him)
Big Kid: What-evah......Look at the animals, look at the animals mommy. Dey are on your couch.

In my intense typing/ignoring him he got sick of me and went to harrass Mr. Ashley:

Big Kid: Daddy look (holding out empty cupped palm)
Mr. Ashley: What's that?
Big Kid: Dawduh
Mr. Ashley: Daughter?
Big Kid: No not Daughter, dawduh
Mr. Ashley: Dada?
Big Kid: No not dada, dawduh
Mr. Ashley: Doctor?
Big Kid: No not doctor, dawduh
Mr. Ashley: I wish you could spell.

I've actually had the Dawduh conversation before (LK has too) and it seems to be some sort of small imaginary friend, but I have no idea what it's real name is (because no one has ever pronounced it correctly) or what the deal is with him.

You know what I've discovered over the weekend? I bought these Munchkin Cupsicle Cups for the boys on the boat. You keep them in the freezer and they keep your drink cold while you're out and about. So I poured one of my drinks in one and it instantly got so cold it was a little slushy and stayed cold for a long time. Those cups are MINE now. You should get some for your kids (read: self) too.

Okay, the animals have apparently pooped in the potty and think they should get to play games on my computer as a reward. Nice try. I better go deal with the zoo. Have a relaxing Sunday ('cuz it looks like I won't be)


Burrus Boys said...

I love your conversations. I have nothing clever to add as I'm slightly hungover, and unlike you, that hampers my creativity. Love you! Mean it!

Lynda Kay said...

I think you're right about the "Dawduh" being an imaginary friend/pet or whatever because when Big Kid and I were chatting about it & he cupped his hands to give me the "Dawduh"...I thought I was being handed imaginary chickfila & pretended to eat it.. The horrified look on his face told me I completely misunderstood (as usual) so I quickly spit out the "dawduh" & gave it back to him but it was clear I had already ruined the fun...

P.S. At least all the wildlife is potty-trained!

Deb said...

Crying, I'm tellin' you, crying. Those conversations make me cry every time. I'm sure they do the same for you, but for different reasons. You make me dread toddlerhood.

tommie said...

our imaginary friend/animal Joey swings from the ceiling fan and unbuckles his carseat. He is always getting a time out!

Ms. Skywalker said...

Odd, isn't it, how the stench of imaginary poop manages to stink up your whole day?