A personal assistant. Must be able and willing to do dishes, wipe butts and highchair trays and scrub toilets. Cooking and serving skills a must. Patience for 98467583 "why?"s and the ability to endure Chutes & Ladders is preferred. Cat-like reflexes and nerves of steel required. Salary consists of room and board, a few smiles and the occasional "You're pwetty".Hmmm...I need a wife. I watched a documentary about polygamy last night and I kind of got what they were saying. Can you imagine how nice it would be to have someone else around to help out during the day? I think I could definitely work out some sort of daily nap for myself if there was one more adult in the house. She couldn't be Mr. Ashley's wife though, she would have to be mine. I would pick her and I would be the head of the household. I think this is a brilliant idea.
I'm thinking of looking for someone who doesn't speak English so I won't have to deal with any catty bullshit and to make sure Mr. Ashley doesn't love her more. Although that actually may make him love her more....hmmm. You know, for more naps and less "why?"s it may be worth it. Besides, I do want her to be pretty. I'm not having an ugly wife. So I think a language barrier would be my best defense. Plus, we'd be bringing some culture into the house. This is freaking genius, I tell you!!! I think I could sell Mr. Ashley on this one.