So, today I begin my Master Cleanse adventure. Last night I drank my senna tea, so it can begin "scraping" the insides of my colon (too much information, I know, get used to it). This morning I drank my quart of luke warm salt water. Actually I drank 3 cups of it because I just couldn't choke down that last cup. Lordy. I do not recommend drinking luke warm salt water, in fact I think I'm only going to be attempting that 3 days a week (if even). Now I am ready to poop myself to mental and physical health.
My mom is quite sure I am going to die from undertaking this adventure. "No one can go 10 days without eating food," she says. Beyonce can, I say. "You're not Beyonce," she replies. That's true. I did run this by my doctor and she didn't even act like I was crazy, and she knows for a fact that I am crazy. If I were going to die, I would hope she would have said something. My mom is not so sure she would have intervened.
I know some of you were concerned with the maple syrup factor, since it says right over there in my sidebar that I hate maple syrup with all of my being. It turns out real maple syrup isn't nearly as sticky or smelly as that high fructose corn syrup crap. I have not yet sampled the actual "lemonade" that I will be living off of for the next 10 days, but right now I'm hopeful.
And yes, you do all have permission to laugh when I crash and burn. You'll have to excuse me now, I have to rush myself to the restroom, the saltwater must be working.
Update 1: Yeah, the saltwater is working. Let's just say I've gotten A LOT of reading in today. I'm almost done with Dean Koontz's "The Husband" and I just started it two nights ago. Let's hope I'm not still peeing out of my ass at parent night tonight at the Temple. I know you're all cringing at my description, but there is just no lady like way to say it.
On a positive note, the lemonade is really good! I can't believe how good it is. I'm still feeling hopeful.
Update 2: It's 3:42 and I'm hungry and irritable. I'm often irritable though, especially lately, so there is no telling if this is the result of the diet or my sucky life. I'm having another glass of lemonade. Luckily, I haven't needed as much bathroom time, but that was a nice escape and I am kind of missing my book. I have JUST realized this means no wine. Holy shit, what have I done.