Friday, October 19, 2007


Lately the Big Kid has been having some crazy dreams. The other day he told me that a monster pushed him in the potty and he fell down and he was calling for me but I wouldn't come get him, and why didn't I come get him? So I had to explain (again and again) that this had to have been a dream because it absolutely didn't happen in real life.

So today when he came up to me and started talking crazy talk, I typed it all out as he spoke. This is what he said:

Big Kid: I woked up and saw a sad boy dere and dere were all of dese polka dot wights all over da room but he was still sad but den his mom was dere and she was trying to fix him and den da dots turned owange and wed and yewwow and were jumpin' awound and awound and den Cookie monster baby was eatin' a wot of cookies dat had sand on dem and was changing and changing a wot and wittle kid was changin' too and da sound of him changin' was weird. Da gwirl's mom was doing um, um, his toe, his nails and he couldn't get da nails off and he cwied at his gwirl mudder. He is fixing a kid, a gwirl in my bed. I was sweepin' and he woked me up and I say "How did you get in here?" and he said he getted up fwom my pajamas.


Ashley: Okay. That is an interesting dream

Big Kid: Yes, it was intewesting. It was wovely.

Ashley: Did you just say lovely?

Big Kid: Yes.

Ashley: Does lovely mean the same thing as nice?

Big Kid: Yes.

Ashley: Where did you hear that?

Big Kid: I dunno but you're supposed to be talkin' about my dweam. It was intewesting, huh?

First of all, where is he picking up words like lovely? The other day he said something was swell. Did I give birth to a reincarnation of The Beav? We don't talk like that around here.

And what is up with these dreams and this crazy talk? I'm beginning to suspect a substance abuse problem. For one second I thought maybe he was psychic and seeing ghosts, but then he got to the baby cookie monster part and totally lost me.

My photo shoot went excellent today, by the way. The kids were GORGEOUS and super photogenic, way easier than ugly kids. No funny pervy stories either, everything was on the up and up and the pictures are fantastic (if I do say so myself). I wish I could show you, but once again, the internet pervs ruin it for all of us. Thanks pervs.


Jaws said...

Damn you Pervs, Damn you!

Kate said...

I so love the big kid and not in a sick and pervy way....he must sure make life interesting. Maybe his blog name should be Beav instead of Bid Kid??? Except for the fact that you ain't no June Cleaver - which is why I love you.

Unknown said...

Note to self: Avoid the urge to read Ashley's blog first thing in the morning so as to avoid snorting diet coke through my nose while laughing.

Anonymous said...

Well I guess that answers the question, do you dream in color?

Elizabeth said...

That cracked me up but my fave part was when he like steered you back to the dream conversation when you diverted him briefly. That killed me. You could almost here him like "Hellooooo, lady, stay on task here - dream talk only."


Deb said...

And THAT is why Big Pharma recalled all those kiddie cold meds.

Anonymous said...

He is obviously sneaking out of your house and eavesdropping on the QueenMother household, "That's just...lovely" come out of my mouth in the most facetious manner about fifty times a day.

Internet pervs suck..suck big donkey balls..bastards!

Buford Betty said...

OMG I had that SAME dream last night! hahahhaha... Big Kid is hilarious.

Stacy said...

My 3 1/2 year old has been having crazy dreams lately as well. Maybe it's an age thing. I'm just LOL at him thinking he got pushed in the toilet and you weren't helping him!

Anonymous said...

The peyote is finally kickin' in...