Wednesday, October 17, 2007

What a Day

Big Kid woke up in another bad mood. He was just really mopey and sad and not that funny at all. He was swearing he didn't want to go to school. Mr. Ashley took him anyway and he solemnly stomped down the hall and approached his teacher with downcast eyes.

Mr. Ashley said Ms. Sharon was very concerned and wanted to know what was wrong but he wouldn't tell her. Finally she said, "Big Kid, did you stay up too late again?" and he sheepishly replied, "Yeaaaaah".

Um, hello?? You were in bed by 8:00pm, you little punk.

What the heck else is he telling these people?

So that was a weird revelation, that he's out there besmirching my image as perfect Bento boxing mother. God (and The Jews) only knows what else he's shared. Damn him. I totally had Ms. Sharon fooled.

On top of fun surprises like that, little kid has been sick and has been a real joy to be around the last few days. I think I may have mentioned before that little kid was an abnormally clingy baby. He practically had to be evicted from the womb when he stayed longer than his 40 week lease and he's been complaining about it ever since. Up until last month I was still carrying him in a sling everywhere we went. Not by choice, I think we all know that I don't really fit the definition of the "attachment parenting" type, he forced me.

Although it was sweet to always have my little koala cuddled to my chest for a year, I have to admit that I was pretty happy when he started walking and began testing his independence.

Well, we have regressed back to the mama/baby kangaroo stage. Except now he can chase me around the house. First he drops to his knees and puts his hands over his eyes. Then he gets the lower lip and his chin puffed out and quivering, the he collapses in a heap of sobs. If that doesn't work (because frankly, it's getting a little old and I'm becoming immune to it), he gets to his feet and angrily marches over to me, grabbing me around the legs, burying his face into my knees and wailing while looking up at me in desperation. It's all very dramatic.

The only consolation is if I'll pick him up immediately and snuggle him to me. Not any of that on-the-hip crap either, a full on hug with his face in my neck. It's really , really sweet...just not all day long. Sometimes I HAVE to prepare meals or use the restroom. When he's really inconsolable I have to sit on the couch and snuggle...for about 2 minutes until he realizes he's not being evil so he has to start grabbing for things or pulling my hair or jerking on electrical cords but still howls when I try to put him down. It's just charming.

So today when he wanted to play on the screen lanai I was like HELL YEAH. He likes it out there and it is completely kid proof and has a play house and some toys. I can mostly see it from the kitchen so I opened the sliders and washed the dishes while he played happily. I could see that he was sitting on a chair backwards and was shrieking and giggling at something in the corner and when I saw both cats about 1o minutes later and realized it wasn't them that was entertaining him, I stuck my head out there

AND SAW A SNAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Holy freaking crap, I seriously almost pooped my pants. I despise snakes. I scooped little kid up and ran back in with my heart pounding and my adrenaline pumping and made Mr. Ashley go kill it. Yeah, yeah, call PETA, I don't freaking care. If I could pick one creature for extinction it would definitely be snakes (with sharks as a close contender). I still DO NOT see how it got in there. little kid thought it was pretty cool though. Ugh.

I did escape to run out and buy something I need for a photo shoot that I'm doing tomorrow and while I was out I found Hello Kitty Bento boxes that were 2 for $1.00 at Ross. They also had Thermos ones with the boxes and a little fork in it's own compartment for $2.99. I know I don't have any girls (boy, don't I know it) but it was too good of a deal to pass up for $1. Think I can decoupage something onto it? Will a Hello Kitty Bento box make him catch "the gay"? Any advice on how to make this thing over would be appreciated.

So, about the photo shoot, it's my first in-studio shoot. I am excited and nervous. Remember good ol' Sonny boy? I think I have an admirer. He emailed me at 1:05 in the morning after our lesson and told me how much he enjoyed it and how great it was to see me again. Then he called two times the next day to see if I wanted to come into the studio on Friday because he could spend some extra time with me. Then his partner emailed me to say he was really looking forward to meeting me and would be there Thursday too, and then Sonny emailed me yet again to re-confirm. Mr. Ashley is not so thrilled that he has paid this guy to "perv out on his wife" as he says. I say if it could lead to free studio time or a successful's all in good fun.

Wish me luck! I should be preparing instead of detailing my every thought of the day for you. I guess I'll get to it.


Jennifer said...

Holy shit, a snake? I have a tarantula outside my family room windows but at least he's outside. What sort of snake was it? Did you eat it for dinner? Just kidding, I had to get into the wine for my pms and it's making me wacky.

You know, I have a LK of my own. She will be 4 in February and I'm finally seeing the light with her. It will get better, like when he goes to preschool.

Deb said...

Wait... are you sure Sonny Boy and his partner aren't thinking you're coming for boudoir photos? As I recall, those two are pretty persuasive.

Anonymous said...

somehow your two boys and my two girls have the same personalities. my little one will not be put down, but also grabs everything in sight. then when she does play on her own, i still can't walk out of the room or she hangs from my legs crying.

i'm a reluctant attachment parent as well, the only difference is that i would leave the snakes alone and let all the spiders die.

Anonymous said...

Ashley, are you familiar with "Arrested Developement" (the sadly-cancelled TV show, not the developemntal condition)? Your story about LK wanting to stay in the womb made me think of Buster Bluth and his 11-month gestation.

And if you don't know AD, RUN DON'T WALK, to your Netflix queue or however you get DVDs. You will LOVE it, I promise. Totally, your humor.

Judy said...

About the Hello Kitty stuff - add a moustache and a conversation balloon with some bodily function in it, and you have an instant boy-hello-kitty Bento box!

And, I'm thinking I should send you back to Ross to pick up some of the Thomas ones for me...Tyler has a birthday Sunday and I'm scraping for gifts!

Jaws said...

Try this, when he does that, scoop him up and hug him tightly, and just stay in that position. When he starts to skirm and decides he wants to get away,hold him tighter and tell him, Oh no buddy, you wanted to cuddle, we are gonna cuddle.
Reverse psychology. Just act like your all for it.

Works when my Ds gets extra clingy when Im extra busy.

Anonymous said...

Is Jaws still freaking you out that bad?! Too funny I didn't know you still had pent-up fear/hate of sharks!!! I love it ;) duuuu dum duuu dum, duuuu dum dududumdudmdumdudmmmmmm

Anonymous said...

Girl totally work the perv thing if it gets you free stuff WAY TO GO!!

I also feel ya on the clingy child mine is currently hanging from my arm and hitting me screaming MOMMA because I am typing instead of holding her!! she refuses to let hubby carry her from the car at all. but I was lucky and she was done one week early and got out!

Oh and the snake thing that is just crazy I promise I wont call peta on you. Once I look out into my back yard that has privacy fence around it and saw a SKUNK! I called hubby and he came home and shot it with his bow! and then carried it across the yard on the end of an arrow that is until it wiggled cause it was still alive then he threw it and ran. I almost peed my pants laughing at him.


Elizabeth said...

I love that you have no boundaries and are totally ok with being un-PC. When I read "catch the gay" I snorted so loud I woke the dog.

That's a good thing.

Love it.

Kate said...

I'll loan you Shaggy for snake removal. He's very good at that. The deal is, you have to keep wait, I actually like him, ok yes, you get the middle one who is female and going through puberty. Sound fair?????

Anonymous said...

Ok, longtime reader, first time poster. HAD, HAD, HAD to post about Big Kid telling school (a/k/a The Jews) that he was up late. My DD is 5, went to kindergarten and was tired and cranky. Decides she has a headache and goes to the nurse. Proceeds to tell said Nurse (Ratchet, by the way) that she has a headache because "mommy bonked my head into the door". HELLOOO? Nurse is calling child services on the other line while she's calling me at work. Yes, I "bonked" her head on the door, but that is because when I was turning to lock the door, she decided she needed to smooch Heart, her Webkins, one more freakin time and ran into the door. NOT MY FAULT!!!

I shared because only you, Ashley, would understand. Carry on.