4 spills cleaned up
1 rice steamer lid broken (thanks little kid)
1 foot cut
1 bandaid needed
19 drips forming the trail of blood from kitchen to bathroom
52 letters of the alphabet written (upper and lower case, each on their own sheet of paper)
200 bathroom breaks
6 cups of that God awful Lemonade-like crap
4 time outs for little kid
1 "What da hell is dis?" from Big Kid
1 time out for Big Kid
12 hours alone with kids
3 meals served
2 cups of warm saltwater consumed
1 load of dishes done
1 load of peed on bedding washed (thanks Big Kid)
13 loads of dirty laundry ignored
2 episodes of Sponge Bob watched
1 session of hosing poop off of little kid
149 "Why?" questions answered or ignored
5 bites of food chewed and regurgitated
3 butts wiped
2 dogs fed
0 cats fed (sorry cats, I'll get right to that)
1 handful of dogfood ingested by little kid
13 snot rags thrown away (poor little kid)
3 consultations with Sherri regarding the Master Cleanse nightmare
Eating food again....Priceless.
7 comments:
So did Big Kid say "what da hell is dis?" because of the mess you made bleeding all over the house or because he sees you doing this awful MasterCleanse thing? I'm all for the colon cleansing thing but I don't know about this method. I do know YOU however and how competitive (& stubborn) you are.. So please, dear Ashley, eat a fweakin samwich or something already! Your "muffin top" is barely there (sticking my tongue out at you) and is a cleaned out butt really worth this lemonade hell? There's definitely other colon cleansing options out there
So, my LK looks at me the other day, throws a block or something at me and says "Sit, mama." I was sitting, so this was odd. After this phrase was repeated a thousand times after dropping or throwing things and falling down, it finally dawned on me - he's saying shit. 'Uh-oh' has been replaced by 'shit'. Holy cow. I can't wait until his Baptist daycare figures that one out...
Please say you're done with this diet? You're giving me anxiety....
I'm becoming concerned that you will be skinnier than me at our February meet-up.
I wonder where Big Kid learns things like that.
Ooohhh. Deb has a good point. Since I am coming from the farthest. I get to be the skinniest so eat away, my friend.
And where DOES Big Kid hear words like that, Mom?
DOES THIS MEAN YOU ATE?
When did you eat and why didn't you call me?
So I am in this alone?
le sigh...
1 "I love you Ashley" and thank you for making me laugh.
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