Saturday, June 9, 2007

3 Who Are 3

So, it is 10:22am (Don't look at what time this says it posts, it is wrong and I'm too lazy to investigate). The twins have been here since 7:30am and....all is well! I didn't even get my McDonald's breakfast and I'm fine with things. I think part of it is the delight of having a girl creature in the house. She asks me if her clothes are pretty, willingly poses for photos with a pretty smile on her face and wants to do a craft where we use scissors and glue to make a butterfly. Sigh. How cute is that??

My Big Kid is most definitely the whiny tattletale of the group, but so far it is (barely) tolerable. I'll keep you posted.

(I know, you were expecting total chaos and are a little disappointed...the day is still young)

*Update* 12:32pm Okay, we've gotten through lunch. Things are a little frantic right now. We made the ice time I'll buy it. It's delicious and a fun idea, but shaking 3 bags of ice for 5 minutes is not my idea of fun. Of course my bag burst open, so I don't get any. The big kid has locked them out of his room numerous times and peed on the floor once. My bestfriend called a few minutes ago to ask if we want to get together for dinner. I told her only if I get a nap and there is the promise of cocktails.

12:40pm The girl has been in the bathroom for a suspiciously long time. She claims to be pooping and that she needs no help and will need no help. Is this possible? Will she be wiping her own butt? That would be great, but I'm not quite sure I trust her. Let's pray to God I don't have to wipe anyone else's ass today.

1:13pm Okay, I'm getting a little tired here. This is beginning to feel like the longest day ever. Mr. Ashley has claimed the stomach problem I had the other day, I'm a little suspicious, the timing is just too good. So he is laying down while I'm playing referee to these 3 monkeys and have the little kid using me as a human jungle gym and pinching me with his little toes. Ring phone, ring.


2:12pm The boy twin is a bit of a whiner. I've made sure both phones are charged, so as not to miss any important caretaker calls. 7 hours? Come on now.

3:09pm ..................? (insert jeopardy theme song here)

4:32pm Mr. Ashley is ironing his jeans and then taking them home. WHO THE HELL IRONS THEIR JEANS?? ESPECIALLY BEFORE TAKING HOME TWINS THAT HAVE BEEN AT YOUR HOUSE SINCE 7AM??!??! He's also picking me up a bottle of wine on his way home, so I can't bitch too much (until I have it)

4:46pm They are gone!!! It's just me and the kids...for about an hour until my BF comes over with the Big Kid's BFF for dinner. Because 3 3 year olds in the house for the day isn't as good as 4. I'm really just hoping my BF will hold the little kid for a while. I'm letting him rip up a copy of "Reading Lolita in Tehran" right now because I'm just too tired to deal with any more kids.

You shouldn't see me again today. If you do, I'm drunk and please disregard anything I may say. Unless it's funny.


Monogram Momma said...

Hello? Ashley? Um, are you still alive? I've just returned from some shopping and was sort of half expecting to find you A) Drunk B)sitting in a corner shaking or C) all of the above.

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unknown said...

Barely. I'm not drunk (yet) and I am sitting in a corner on my laptop literally itching for peace & quiet.

But I did invite my BF and the Big Kid's BFF over for dinner which is totally freaking nuts of me. Please, let's have 4 three year olds in the house over the course of the day!!

Fluffy Windover said...

Dear Ashley,
I don't {yet} have children, but if I did I would not hesitate to put them in your care. While we sit in your baby pool and drink wine coolers, bien sur. Love, Fluffy

Unknown said...

Wine coolers?? Fluffy Windover, girl after my own heart, {when} you have children we'll be in the baby pool with them, drinking more than cheerleader juice.

Come on now, having kids doesn't force you to lower your standards...