I know I have a bad habit of getting in touch mostly only when I need stuff. If it makes you feel better, I'm like that with just about everyone I love.
Hey, you made me.
Anyhow, it's about tomorrow. I think I'm prepared. I think I am capable of presenting myself as an intelligent, organized, employable person with good hygiene.
Eyebrows are waxed, accessories are purchased, pants have been pressed, Spanx are packed. Lists have been made and updated. Gift for party is wrapped, directions written, time line carefully constructed and analyzed.
What I need your help with is A.) things going as planned and B.) Good, no make that GREAT, hair. I'm talking big curls, messy-but-perfect part with volume in the back, no frizz, all day hold. I know, it's a lot to ask. I will gladly forgo a future lucky hair day if I can have this one.
Also, please, please make them love me and hire me on the spot. I'm going to warn you now, if I don't get this job there will be an immense amount of crying and whining. In fact, I predict that it could send me straight into a major depression and you'd have to deal with me lying in bed and complaining at you for who knows how long.
So, if this isn't your plan for me, could we change your plan just this one time? I mean, just because I'm often changing my plans to suit you, so maybe just this once we could do it my way? Just a thought.
I do have back up plans. I'm thinking I'll bring a dozen cupcakes and tell them that one is poisoned and I won't say which one until they hire me OR, if they dare to attempt to not hire me, I will send them a rejection letter.
It would be easier for everyone if we didn't have to go with either of the back up plans, so if you're not doing anything else, like helping out those starving kids in Darfur or ending wars, I'd really and truly appreciate some good hair and a job.