Thursday, June 5, 2008

Come On Down

Well, turns out I only had $5 and less than a quarter of a tank of gas, and I forgot my blanket and pillow, so I decided to postpone my escape plan. I'm still doing it. Just another time. Something to look forward to. I'm actually creating an address list of everyone who has bought my love, and plan on going from house to house until I find somewhere that suits me. So, don't be surprised to find me on your doorstep one day, asking for internet access and dinner.

I also couldn't leave last night because I was afraid one of you would kill yourselves if you didn't get your Orville Redenbacher's. Clearly to get comments, I have to give you all stuff. Whores.

I'm going to ask Orville Redenbacher's for a case of Smart Pop and I'll just give away a bag with every post. It says a lot that tantrums and threatening to shoot adorable animals get minimal results, but offering popcorn gets all kinds of response. That's some damn good popcorn.

So this morning I had Big Kid write out numbers 1-69 (tee-hee), close his eyes, and point to the winner...and the winner is....ADAM AND KAYLA'S MOMMY!! Who didn't even think Big Kid could count that high! For future reference, he can count at least to 200...that's about when I make him stop because I get sick of hearing it.

So email me your info to Ashleysclosetblog @ yahoo.com (no spaces, trying to throw off the Nigerian scammers) and you will get a prize!

Otherwise, I'm here to stay. For a while. I suppose.

I have all kinds of links I want to share with you all, and it's a slow-moving sort of day (compared to my normal productive self...), so stay tuned for that.

13 comments:

Melodie said...

Feel free to knock on my door one day. Just understand that my house won't be clean and I'll probably be in my pajamas. Unless it's the weekend, then my maid/husband will have the house clean, but I'll still be in my pajamas. Feel free to bring your laundry, too, because DH will also be doing all of the laundry.

Joy said...

Just let me know when you make it to middle TN I will be happy to put you up for a few days. Like above I hope you won't expect a clean house.

But on a good note I do have high speed cable internet with wireless access, so you would be good to go

Lori said...

You can come to my house. We don't know each other, so initially it might be weird. But I think you could get over that given that I'm in a great location! Who wouldn't love a small Caribbean island?

I can cook and we have internet access (can you bring your computer though? I don't like to share) as long as the power doesn't go out.

Renee said...

You could come to Houston and stay with me M-F while His Royal Highness is out of town, and then you could just sleep in your car on the weekends. During the week, we can grill hot dogs and swim and the kids can play on the playset and we can go out for drinks and leave everyone home with the nanny. The weekends might suck a little, especially in the hot summer. But it's the best I can offer right now. What do you think?

-The Renee

Anonymous said...

ADAM AND KAYLA'S MOMMY is a cheater. She obviously cheated, to win the popcorn. I wanted the free popcorn.

Kristi said...

If you ever want to escape to pure hell, come to my house. In NC today, we have a temp of 97 with a heat index of 105+. Yup, 2 weeks ago it was 70 degrees. Fun stuff. Throw in a 5 year old that talks all the damn time and an annoying as pseudo spouse who doesn't know we have a dishwasher and I'm pretty sure you would have hell. We would have to replace the LK crapping on the floor with a chihuahua that probably weighs as much as LK though!

K

Jennifer said...

No matter how well planned the great escapes are, they never do really pan out, do they?

Anonymous said...

holy shit!! I never win anything! Thanks big kid

Rebecca said...

You could come to my house in Mississippi. My husband is a software engineer, so you can take your pick to any of the 23 computers in my house, all with internetz access. It's hotter than H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks outside though, but we keep it cool inside.

Can you send me some free sushi instead of popcorn? That's my pregnancy craving, and it's getting to be expensive!

Denim and Pearls said...

Hey, you're welcome in Atlanta. Roommate has a neurotic cat that you'd find hours of amusement from, we have wireless internet, and there's a pool in our apartment complex. And a full liquor cabinet. It'd be good times.

Lauren said...

My house wouldn't be much better than yours, except for the fact that my 3 year old at least asks for a diaper before she craps.

Joy said...

I was gonna say she must have cheated also. BTW who is this "Adam and Kayla's mommy" anyways? I don't see her commenting here and telling Ashley how great she is and how unbelievably smart BK must be like we all know I would be doing had I won the free popcorn!

Mamahut said...

OK, what I want to know is how to get all the free samples! I am jealous of it. I was really jealous when you told us about the bag from those people, you know the one to go grocery shopping with. I need some that have no affiliates names on it. I took mine into the wrong grocery store the other day and I thought they were gonna escort me out of the store. Rat Bastards. You can come stay with me in Colorado....We might have to wade across the bridge over the river to get to the liquor stores and what not.